Tuesday, 31 May 2016

all bets are off

I think that these days all bets are off regarding gender and its presentation.

I have read stories of people transitioning with full HRT and then continuing to present androgynously because that is where they are comfortable. Not all genetic women are very feminine so why some transgender women not be the same?

The options are very variable and you get to make up your own rules and for me living part time is what works and likely will for the long term.

The other day I ran into another Walt Heyer interview where he keeps saying that being transgender is actually a form of mental illness. But then here’s the rub: if people are happy living the way they are after years of being miserable, they function well in their jobs and in society how is that mental illness?

You cannot speak for others only for yourself and that is where he errs.

Don’t worry yourself too much about labels and proceed slowly and organically to a resting point that works for you. There is pure magic in that. There are constraints along the way that we built because getting to know ourselves took time. They can still be managed while your life morphs into something else.

For example my son is always a big priority for me in that I don’t want him touched by any of this until he is much older and more secure in his role as a man in society. What possible good could come from me flaunting the fact that his father is transgender? It’s well enough that he accepts it intellectually which is more than good enough from my perspective.

The other evening I had a reunion of sorts. It was the group of four friends who went to Europe in the summer of 1986 and we got together almost 30 years to the day of our departure. We were in our twenties then and now in our fifties we still laughed and enjoyed each other’s company just as we did back then. We plan to keep it up.

The big difference for me is that 30 years later I know myself far better.

2 comments:

  1. So, Joanna, did you attend the 30 year anniversary reunion in full femme mode? If yes, how did that go with friends who hadn't seen you since transition?

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  2. well Rhonda they all know I am trans but they did not see Joanna that evening. Eventually all will see here I suspect...

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