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still some work to do

I am a tough nut to crack. I have a quick Spanish temper which flares like a pop bottle that’s been shaken and then subsides as fast as it came.

We are all victims to our pride and we suffer the consequences of sticking to our guns until we remember what is most important. I am trying to work on that aspect.

When I was younger I didn’t always see the best side of people and I was made fun of either because of my ears or because I was too thin. It didn’t help my confidence.

As I got older I discovered that I had a good intellect and I used to it to my advantage. In its worst moments it has been used in derision of people who I deemed were lacking in some measure.

What didn’t help was that I wasn’t completely happy with myself for the longest time until I removed my own anxiety over being transgender. I couldn’t see the positive in others first and would often choose to focus on the negative if they did something I didn’t like. Perhaps this was a method of self-protection going back to my childhood.

I have had to work my way back and I am much happier for it. The temper still requires some work but then none of us is perfect and sometimes by the time we get it right we have run out of road.




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