Skip to main content

the chicken or the egg

Which came first the chicken or the egg?

This is an analogy for what has become the essential dilemma in trying to understand how sexual orientation and the desire to be a female overlap. Most male to female gynephilic transsexuals knew they were different very early on in life.

Transgender people question their gender identity well before they have developed a sexual identity and what later transpires is a conflict between this internal identity and the sexual being which is slowly emerging. This is not the same thing as being attracted to your own image as a female but does take the form of sexual fantasies that juxtapose who we aim to be with whom we want to love.

This very confusing time causes an inherent contradiction which we need to sort out.

Some would have you believe that we create a false gender identity as a product of a paraphilic sexuality but that only makes sense if the desire to be female originated hand in hand with the sexual identity. The fact that most transsexuals know much earlier what their identity is, contradicts this idea.

Most transgender people want to downplay the role that sex plays in all this but it exists and most certainly does not invalidate their identity. It may be part and parcel of a more complex picture but certainly not the only defining feature.

To me it’s the most obvious thing in the world that my gender identity was shaped well before my sexual identity was. What happened is that eventually upon meeting, the latter came into conflict with the former. This causes an unconventional situation but not the stuff that paraphilias are made of.

Emasculation fetishists prefer to think in terms of paraphilias perhaps because they are afraid of possessing a transgender identity and not being truly male in the conventional sense. For a time this was also my fear and they will find out one way or another with increasing age.

I know exactly who and what I am and any decision going forward will most certainly not be shaped by my sexual longings but instead by my reason, my logic and most importantly by my heart.

But now here is the kicker: our gender identity need not be an either or proposition; in other words it need not be perfectly aligned with our conventional wisdom of what makes a man or a woman because much of that is artificially set by social convention.

Comments

  1. "To me it’s the most obvious thing in the world that my gender identity was shaped well before my sexual identity was." There lies the heart of autogynephilia: the Freudian notion that sexual motives come before anything else - regardless of what you remember! They blame bad odors for the plague, and will treat it only with posies and potpourri...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You hit the nail on the head January...

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

prejudice disguised as objective rectitude

So here is Professor Jordan Peterson perhaps justly calling out the excesses of political correctness gone mad. But then he extends it to not indulging transgender people the basic dignity of being addressed in their preferred pronoun. To do so for him would cost nothing and to stand on literal principle seems to serve little use other than to send a message of disdain.

If you have transitioned or even live as the opposite gender is costs me nothing to address you in your preferred pronouns. What difference does it make to me and what am I trying to tell you when I don't?

Peterson wants to stand on his rights to call reality what it is except that in this case the exact objective escapes me. But of course the right wing Federalist is in love with him because he calls a spade a spade.

If I see a rock I can call it that but then the rock doesn’t have any feelings. To address a transgender woman "her" and "she" is not undermining my rights as a person in any way b…

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…