Skip to main content

damaged goods

Rethinking everything I thought I understood about this issue took years which only proves that even people like me can have some degree of neuroplasticity in our brains.

There is a lot of effort involved in unlearning prejudices and preconceived ideas and studying this subject in depth was the only way that was going to happen for me. My background in physics and engineering almost demanded it.

In a way I've always envied people that go more by feel and don't need to delve into things. They know who they are and what they need to do. Now that I am older I see more value in that than ever.

I say this not just about being transgender but about everything.

As it turns out there was far more wiggle room in my life than I had imagined but I lived it as if there was an invisible container around me and I dare not step outside its boundaries. On the other hand living this way forged my discipline so I shouldn't complain.

A comment that Emma made the other day to one of my posts made me think. She said that for a long time she felt like damaged goods and that is exactly spot on. What a terrible thing to think and how many more of us felt the same?

But now in my fifties it feels so liberating its hard to even put into words.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


my last post

This will be my last post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are very …

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…