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One thing that is universal is that as long as people have populated this planet there are those who presume to speak with knowledge they clearly don’t possess. They take their own life experience and use that to pronounce themselves on how things should be instead of how they are.

It’s a universal phenomenon and applicable to any issue you can think of.

If I could change one thing it would be that. If you lack the proper information about an issue and cannot relate to another person’s experience simply mind your own business and don’t pretend that you can counsel them.

The driving force behind this phenomenon is human fear and prejudice. We fear what we don’t understand and assume the worst.

Look at the fear and loathing coming from conservative circles over transgender bathrooms as an example. The hyperbole is staggering and suddenly transgender people are being portrayed as molesters rather than as people who don’t want to be persecuted for who they are.

This is fear mongering and pandering to the lowest common denominator.

Donald Trump, who is a demagogue in his own right, uses this strategy to perfection. He spews unintelligible statements and changes his mind on a daily basis on a variety of issues he barely understands but he does so with conviction say his supporters. They are as half-witted as he is and no more educated because we unfortunately live in an era of anti-intellectualism and faux-news that panders to a captive base.

I used to not understand how someone like Hitler was able to rise to power but now I do. Demagoguery can do much if you wrap it in patriotic speeches which fan the embers of deep-seated prejudices.

Human nature is what it is and some things improve while some get worse. It just seems to happen in cycles.



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Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

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Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…