Living in the dark ages before the internet I had to police and control my "problem" without help from anyone for I dare not ever divulge it. All that negativity leaves scars on your psyche even if on the surface my life seemed fully under control. I just willed it to be that way.
So even now any modifications and small adjustments are made with a scrutiny honed from years of feeling like I didn't have the right to follow my own instincts.
Since 2012, this blog has been my therapy and my vehicle for exploring this weighty subject. During that time the advancement we have made as a community has been nothing short of extraordinary.
My own self-acceptance has been longer than it could have been and now I am working on removing the vestiges of the rigorious machinations that every action I took received. This subject was so serious for me that I had fashioned obstacles at every turn which were stifling me.
People who have never questioned their gender don't have to overthink things like we do. Hence, for my own sake I have focused my energy on ceasing a practice which had become virtually hard wired.