Skip to main content

sticking to the basics

As I become older I have become less formally religious and more spiritually-minded. This has meant abandoning a lot of the trappings of religion and adopting a wider and less intransigent view of the role of the divine in my life.

Let’s admit something: we don’t know anything about the nature of God. We cannot even conceptualize it because it is beyond our abilities as human beings. So it comes down to faith and the idea that we come from somewhere and our life is supposed to have meaning.

We have all sat there and stared up at the stars reflecting on the vastness and nature of the universe. Everything operates like a Swiss watch and yet there is randomness and chaos at the same time. It is hard to deny that there is vast intelligence behind it all and even if you go back to some big bang there is an origin point we cannot go beyond.

Many religious faiths espouse unyielding and unflinching elements that can inflict rigidity and possibly even stunt our spiritual growth. The most orthodox practices even resort to telling people what to wear or what to do during specific times.

A good analogy might be a verse in Corinthians:

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things”

This resonates with me as I endeavor to concentrate on the basics. Love your fellow human beings, yourself and to try to do good things for others while we are here on this earth. Everything else seems to fall away as pageantry that does not harm these objectives but does not add to them either.

My Catholic upbringing helped shape me but to some degree also enslaved me with a rigidity that prevented my self-acceptance. I have no one to blame because it was my own interpretation of what I was taught and my silence conspired to only make things worse.

But when you really reflect on it, even those basics I am trying to stick to are hard enough to succeed at.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

the risks of downplaying dysphoria

Kati’s comment on my post called “Doubting you are trans” got me thinking about the validity of our feelings and the importance of not downplaying them.

Make no mistake: gender dysphoria is real and you are not delusional and by trying to downplay our emotional need to express ourselves we are making a mistake.

At the same time, I am very realistic about what I am doing to treat my dysphoria and understand that I was not born physically female. However, the idea that gender identity is established exclusively through birth genitalia has been pretty convincingly debunked which means that gender and its expression should be left up to the individual and not to society. But unfortunately, we live in a world where disobeying the rules leads to suffering through persecution.

Transition is one way to treat your “gender expression deprivation anxiety” (thank you Anne Vitale for that wonderful term) but it is not the sole method. However, denying that the feelings are real is a recipe for dep…