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trans-puberty

There is a kind of puberty period that one passes as a transgender person. I never really noticed it that much until I looked back and realized I was going through it.

At first it’s about how one dresses and presents. This is typically in a very over the top and stereotypically feminine manner. It eventually gives way to a more pragmatic style that combines fashion with practicality and comfort.

Then there is the mental aspect which also changes. We go from a kind of scared teenager afraid of our own shadow and morph into a presentable person who is not afraid to go out into the world and just be. This process can typically take many years and is directly related to how much energy and time we have invested in traditional male roles in order to fit into society.

I am now at that stage of comfort and security and when I present as Joanna and I no longer second guess myself or look over my shoulder to see who might be staring. Being comfortable in your own skin should be paramount to any person but especially for a transgender one who faces a much higher degree of scrutiny unless you pass flawlessly. Even then your own lack of self-confidence can conspire to betray you.

People love a confident person who smiles and is happy and they tend to want to reflect back what they see.

Over time my clothing choices have become more pragmatic due to the length of my outings and where I am going. Hence practical flats have become a staple for walking for example. Not that I ever wore a cocktail dress to the mall but I needed to learn what biological women already know.

In that sense the sartorial element has become more a way to help present as Joanna rather than as a focal point and all my past impractical purchases have slowly found their way to the good will.

Just don't try and take away my practical low heel pumps.





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love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…