I like Clare Flourish’s blog. She writes extremely well and each post makes you reflect a little. But when I read her recent entry in which she seemed to express some regret over her transition it surprised me. She states:
"If you are considering transition, I would not go as far as to say Don’t- but ask yourself, “Am I a beta male? Can I enjoy that, and not transition?”
In the post she makes reference to the idea of not trying to be an alpha male and instead settle for a beta male. The notion is simple: being who you are and not having to live up to someone else’s idea of what a man is supposed to be.
There is a lot to be said for that and sometimes we transgender people can get caught up in embarking on a full transition as the thing to do when it might not necessarily be the right thing for some of us.
It took me some time to arrive at a firm position for myself because it’s just not a such simple thing to decide. To reconcile with being less than the exemplary male that you were taught to be is not easy and sometimes feels like you are failing. But then who exactly made up the rules.
I sincerely hope that Clare can resolve her current melancholy and come to terms with where she is now and if I am misreading the intention behind her post I apologize in advance.
Her post is titled "Beta male" and can be found here.