Skip to main content

my own kind of militancy

Slowly but surely I have become more militant. This means that I don’t suffer the slings and arrows of fools or ignorant people all that well.

When I was hidden in the closet I lived my life pretending to be someone I wasn’t. People knew me but didn’t know all about me and I had little reason for militancy. Now that I am out I am almost bracing for some nasty comment that almost never comes.

But when it does I am ready for it.

Occasionally I will get an almost disdainful glance at my height when some woman stares down at my feet and probably thinks she can’t possibly that freakishly tall. Or maybe they think I am too masculine looking to be a woman. All I know is that I never do that to other people and when it’s done to me I stare them down with a look that says: “can I help you?”

The fact this almost never happens is because most people are basically decent and have their own things to worry about. We transgender people tend to focus on ourselves so much and think everyone has a magnifying glass on our every move which is false. It just feels that way because at first we are so afraid.

I am aware that I present more of a target now and yet I cannot live my life in fear. No one should have to.

The best defense is to be yourself and to show that you are a confident person with self-respect. People who still don’t understand that have problems that you can’t help them with and the best thing to do in that case is to ignore them.

The rest will become educated little by little. At least one can hope.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…