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my own kind of militancy

Slowly but surely I have become more militant. This means that I don’t suffer the slings and arrows of fools or ignorant people all that well.

When I was hidden in the closet I lived my life pretending to be someone I wasn’t. People knew me but didn’t know all about me and I had little reason for militancy. Now that I am out I am almost bracing for some nasty comment that almost never comes.

But when it does I am ready for it.

Occasionally I will get an almost disdainful glance at my height when some woman stares down at my feet and probably thinks she can’t possibly that freakishly tall. Or maybe they think I am too masculine looking to be a woman. All I know is that I never do that to other people and when it’s done to me I stare them down with a look that says: “can I help you?”

The fact this almost never happens is because most people are basically decent and have their own things to worry about. We transgender people tend to focus on ourselves so much and think everyone has a magnifying glass on our every move which is false. It just feels that way because at first we are so afraid.

I am aware that I present more of a target now and yet I cannot live my life in fear. No one should have to.

The best defense is to be yourself and to show that you are a confident person with self-respect. People who still don’t understand that have problems that you can’t help them with and the best thing to do in that case is to ignore them.

The rest will become educated little by little. At least one can hope.


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