Thursday, 11 August 2016

an untenable dilemma

Watch any video of a womanless pageant and you will hear giddy laughter emanating from the audience and this often in spite of the tastefulness of the imitations. Invariably it is coming most loudly from the same women being emulated who are buying into the narrative that these men or boys are somehow debasing themselves by donning dresses. What these women might not fully realize however is that they are in some ways unwittingly laughing at themselves.

Now imagine a reverse pageant where women imitate men instilling the same entertainment value and levity. I think not.

Being a woman in this world is far more difficult because our societies favour males over females. Masculinity is highly regarded but femininity considered a weakness valued only for reasons of sexual attractiveness to males. It is for this reason that feminine behaviour in men is frowned upon and castigated through derision in a boy's earliest development.

The only meagher advantage that this presents for women is that they are given more sartorial latitude and sometimes even lauded for adopting male characteristics. One only needs to think of Joan of Arc as a historical example.

Heterosexual women with masculine tendencies have less pressure to conform to a feminine standard or at least their refusal to comply is more readily tolerated. They can go to the office and dress virtually in full male attire and not be as mocked as the man who shows up in a dress and heels.

This double standard is undoubtedly rooted in the biology of men needing to hunt and provide while women nurtured as life givers and homemakers. Therefore it is not a model easily dismantled or erased from what is perhaps genetically imprinted memory.

The heterosexual male with female tendencies in this societal structure is in trouble. He admires women and their role but is also drawn to them sexually which is a contradiction that grates against expectation. Interestingly the reverse model works better as dominant and masculine women can find happiness with more passive men. I am reminded here of Margaret Thatcher and her unobtrusive and timid husband Dennis.

Homosexual effeminate men find more masculine partners to compliment their nature and indeed so can lesbian women. My new friend Lyne for example is attracted to lipstick lesbians.

This is why the gynephilic gender dysphoric, virtually irrespective of transitional status, is particularly challenged and given to seeking a compromise where he is at best tolerated by his partner and at worst rejected. I am not sure that this will easily be repaired even in today's more open and accepting environment.




2 comments:

  1. Well said. Sometimes it appears that although we proclaim equality it isn't a concept that has taken hold in all parts of society.

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    1. We have a long way to go Heather but I am not everything is fixable. Some of us are fortunate at times and find a soul that only looks at the person inside rather than the packaging.

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