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balancing act

For the transgender person achieving a balance between being true to one’s nature and respecting life commitments can be very complex. It’s not the same for all of us and as we begin to discover who we really are the temptation could be to open up Pandora’s Box and want to catch up all at once on what we’ve missed on.

I’m still working on this aspect although I am more in fine tuning mode than anything else. Hence finding balance is no longer the angst ridden exercise it once was but that doesn't mean its easy.

Our approach morphs with age, experience and life circumstances. The intensity of the transgender feelings and receptiveness of our families and friends are also significant factors especially as we make our first tentative steps towards self-acceptance. Therefore it is clear that there is no single perfect formula that will work equally well for everyone.

Balance was something that I once saw as impossibility but it can be achieved even if imperfectly. Of course this means different things to each person and your own perception of what that means today will morph over time only to surprise you when you look back.

I am reminded here of Vivienne's recent post regarding the U.K. show "faking it" which involves having people pretend to be someone they are not. Except that we as transgender people aren't pretending and we need to deal with our reality head on before striving for balance.

However, transgender or not, balance in life is a difficult thing to attain so if you have mastered this art consider yourself fortunate.


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