There I was dealing with a failing marriage and gender dysphoria that was threatening to boil over. Something invariably had to give and the chain of events that followed only make sense in hindsight. This is why I have confidence now that things eventually work themselves out and what needs to happen does.
They say that hindsight is 20/20 but this not about that. It is instead about having faith and confidence in things bigger than yourself. I know I am not overtly religious in this blog but I have seen in my own life how lessons are learnt and we move on to a new plateau by drawing conclusions from our lived experience. Except that all throughout I have felt there has been guidance.
The lowest point in my life was being wheeled into an MRI scan not knowing whether I was going to recover but life can take extraordinary turns that we do not expect and so I am counting on the future being very much the same.
Some posts back I said that I would float and see where the current takes me but that's not entirely correct because I will be drawing upon my lived experience. I will not entirely shut my eyes but keep them wide open to absorb more lessons along the way. It's not about being lost but about losing yourself in the confidence that things will place themselves where they must.
The only thing we can control in this life is our self respect and being true to who we are as individuals. The rest is part of the variability and randomness that is inherent to our imperfect world. But if we control only that we can hopefully achieve an internal balance that makes the rest bearable.