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liberation

There is tremendous power in having little concern for what the world thinks of you when out presenting as a different gender. It's something I only imagined acquiring but was never certain I would. I chalk this up to a combination of the experience that comes with age plus the weariness and fatigue from years of living in hiding.

I am the most lucid I have ever been in my life and that is giving me an emotional strength and resilience I didn't possess even 5 years ago when I was mired in conflict. That coupled with our increased visibility in the world makes for a combination of epic proportions for me. I hope you can sense it in my tone these days and those who have followed me for a while will certainly tell the difference from when I began writing this blog. Even the last year has been one of significant resolution for me.

Who knows or doesn't know is no longer of great consequence and should I cross paths with someone I am not out I will deal with it then. No one should have to hide from the world who they truly are.

We may not eliminate the negativity over this issue out there in the world but we can control our own thoughts and how we view ourselves and that in itself is power.

As a side note my post on Julia Serano and AGP has received 485 views as I write this. Thanks to whoever posted it elsewhere because I really think it's important to help disseminate information and dismantle the pseudoscience.

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my last post

This will be my last blog post.

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With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…