Monday, 29 August 2016

my son and I talk

At 16 years old my son is 6 feet tall and wears a size 12 running shoe which is evidence that he is still growing because I wear a size 11. He is a sensitive and caring soul whose perceptiveness and intelligence are growing at an equally rapid rate.

So when we were having conversation in the car yesterday somehow the issue of his mother's desire to divorce me came up and he told me what she had told him. His mother's version was different from my own of course but clearly hers downplayed the trans aspect. However, when we were in marital counseling she kept repeating that she didn't want to be married to a woman which was fair enough. But the counselor kept telling her to stop harping on that point since it was she who wanted to divorce as did Pierre Assalian who was then the head of the hospital gender clinic. The latter flat out told her that people like me were born this way and nothing could be done about it.

My guilt revolved around omitting this detail when we married because I thought I could ignore my dysphoria and you know how well that turned out.

My son is a great protector of mine and he told me that this was not sufficient grounds for divorce and was surprised regarding his mother's reaction. Of course he doesn't share her perspective and loves both his parents but I defended his mother's reaction because it's water under the bridge for me and we had compatibility issues regardless.

We then discussed the issue of sex and gender identity and how they can be misaligned in some people. Like the vast majority of young people he was understanding and sensitive to the topic.

I am very much enjoying this period in my children's lives and as they enter adulthood there is so much as they can now teach me as well. Its like seeing the fruition of all the years put into their development.

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