Skip to main content

what are the odds

There I was on the flight from Montreal to Detroit on my eventual way to Tampa. On business trips I sometimes talk to the person next to me and sometimes I don’t and I suppose it depends on the willingness of both people to chat.

His name was William and he is a biomedical industry scientist helping to develop drugs that help people battle certain cancers and other diseases.

So we bantered back and forth at the beginning and then took a bit of a break. Near the end of the flight the conversation began to flow better and then I found out we were exactly the same age. He married at age 40 and has no kids. I talked a little more about my life as well.

We exchanged first names and then he told me where he went to high school which was also my school. Then he looked at me and asked me if I was (insert my male name here) and then the light bulb went off. We were in the same grade of the same school and hadn’t seen each other since 1979 but there we were sitting on a flight to Detroit side by side.

Turns out that William is a perfectly lovely fellow and even though we didn't hang out with the same groups we did overlap quite a lot in high school. He has been living in San Diego for the last 25 years but he has Montreal in his veins and wants to come back. His parents are both living and still live here.

Needless to say we exchanged emails and plan to keep in touch but what I kept thinking was: what are the odds.


Detroit McNamara Airport

Comments

  1. I had a similar experience that is fun to relate. Several years ago when I was part of a start-up we had a group dinner with spouses invited. My wife and I sat with our VP Sales and his wife, Barbara, whom I'd never met. We had a nice conversation that gradually drifted back to our pasts. Suddenly, Barbara and I looked at each other as she exclaimed "You're _____!" (my male name) and I said, "Barbie? !!!" She was my best friend's girlfriend in high school, and with more than 25 years since we'd seen each other we just hadn't recognized each other until that moment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. yep same type of experience here!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That type of experience is incredible! Definitely a first, and a good thing for you both. I doubt it will ever happen to me, as I haven't transitioned. But I love hearing about such things.

    Hugs to both of you!

    Mandy

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh I wasn't in female mode Mandy. I was in male mode and I am not officially transitioning either.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Me too, Mandy! Like Joanna I am not transitioning either and was in full male mode... :-) It was so funny when that experience happened. To have sat there across the table, talking, and having fun for maybe 45 minutes before we both suddenly recognized each other!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yay, then it could happen to me, too! Super!

    There are a couple folks from my past I'd love to meet that way. I apologize for incorrectly thinking you both were dressed en femme. My bad...


    Hugs,

    Mandy

    ReplyDelete
  7. No bad at all, Mandy! No harm, no foul, whatsoever. I hope this happens to you. In fact, I can tell you both of another time.

    In the mid-80s I was hired by a large company to be a sales engineer in the Silicon Valley. The HR guy was very helpful and nice, and I knew him for the three years I was there. Fast forward ten years, I was in marketing for another company, on a business trip in Boston. One morning I was taking the hotel elevator down to the lobby for breakfast, and there he was in the elevator too! We had a nice time catching up on what we'd both been up to.

    I'll tell you, I'm always looking around, no matter where I am, to see if I recognize people. You never know and it's such a fun experience.

    ReplyDelete
  8. We're going to have to call you Hawkeye!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

a blending

An interesting thing is happening to me: as I have fully embraced being transgender my male and female anima are becoming blended. The female side is no longer an unwelcome appendage which, as a result, has allowed me to craft a more genuine and happier male image.

I dress when I want to and sometimes I cut outings shorter than before. I am my own master in this regard and feel in control.

Don't get me wrong in that the dysphoria is not going away and is sometimes like a wild stallion that threatens to jump the fence but I have learnt to understand it’s demands after all these years hence a transition for me is definitely not in the cards. At this point I am not even foreseeing a social one.

The two sides are no longer in conflict and they are now intertwined to create a fusion that is unique to me. That answer finally came when I reached a full level of self assurance about who I am and learned to embrace that I am trans and yes, that includes my dysphoria's erotic undertones…