Sunday, 7 August 2016

what will the new neighbours think...

One of the owners in our condo association has rented her place to a young soon-to-be married couple. She herself is getting married but intends to hold on to the property which will likely not see her return as a resident.

I met this young man of 25 a few days ago and we chatted for a bit. He is an accountant and they plan to be here for at least a couple of years. So we discussed details of the neighbourhood and I explained things about the building, parking in the area and the physical work that had been performed on the structure.

At some point I simply mentioned that I was transgender and that they were apt to see me coming and going dressed a little differently. My reasoning was simple: I’d rather they know in advance and not leave them wondering who this strange woman is coming and going and opening my door. Plus I no longer need or want to hide.

Not the least bit fazed, he then mentioned that his future brother-in-law was gay and that he had quite a difficult time in deciding to come out. He knows people need to be themselves and that was the end of it.

So once again my faith in the young generation was validated through this exchange which shows they have moved beyond many of the biases we espoused.

Not that I had doubted it for a moment but then I also no longer care what anyone thinks about me being transgender.

People from my generation and older would worry about what Fred next door would think if we stepped out on our driveway crossdressed and that kept us living in fear and in many ways in the closet. Turns out its none of Fred's business and, unless he's been living under a rock for the last twenty years, people do what they please especially if it's not illegal.

If crossdressing is an effective tool for you and helps you manage then a good way to start is being more open about it. You might be surprised how much stress it removes and how little people care.

2 comments:

  1. Dear Joanna,

    I have to question the veracity of something you wrote. "I also no longer care what anyone thinks about me being transgender." Although I am not privy to your inner thinking and emotions, I suspect that this statement is a stretching of the truth. It is so much easier to write, "I don't care" than to actually not care. That's especially true for a caring individual such as yourself. You care deeply about many things, but especially about transgenderism. To truly not care you would have to develop a degree of indifference about being transgender that simply isn't you (at least not the you based on your writing that I have come to know to a degree). I have a feeling you have developed a thicker skin regarding who you are, rather than a complete difference to what other people think.

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  2. You know Kati that is an excellent point and you are not wrong. Its more about saying to the world I am here and I don't need to hide any longer. In order to be able to do that I have been obliged to develop a thicker skin and swallow the fear that once consumed me.

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