Skip to main content

born and not made

There is absolutely no question in my mind that a transgender person is born and not made. I know this in my bones because I tried to kill off this part of myself for so many years to no avail and some who read my blog may have tried to do the same.

Still there are those in society who would accuse us of adopting this “lifestyle” by choice and I would pose to them one simple question: Why would one choose something that was potentially going to get them rejected and scorned by their families and the rest of society?

The good news is that once you get past the difficult self-acceptance part the rest is far easier especially as we age and begin to care far less about what others think. That feeling of liberation is priceless and after having jailed yourself for years it will feel amazing when you get past the caring stage.

Some of you are in the process of transition whether it is social or full while others may be making their first tentative steps towards allowing themselves a freer range of gender expression. But whatever the formula you cannot move forward without acknowledging that this is a permanent fixture of your identity and not some self created fetish.

That dreadful self-consciousness when taking your fledgling steps becomes replaced over time with a normalcy and a sense of well-being that must be experienced. The closest way to describe it is like feeling like a fraud versus feeling genuine and the nerves become replaced with self-certainty and peace.

Once you understand that you are a leopard that can’t change its spots everything becomes wholesome and real and perhaps for the first time in your life you begin to feel what it’s like to feel respect for your own nature.

You simply stop fighting your instincts and become you.

As a postscript: my post on Julia Serano and AGP is now up to 686 views.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…