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shouldering the blame

The inability of some people to fit comfortably within the gender binary has resulted in their persecution. It is a population as old as humanity which still experiences attempts as being branded as mental defectives or sexual perverts even today.

The motivation is simple: the concept of male and female is immovable and perfect in the eyes of religious bodies and organizations that depend on the binary’s supposedly static nature. The idea that “God created man and woman” must be unflinching and rigid in order for our institutions to function as they should. This is most especially true in societies founded on religious ideas which require that this model not vary. The problem is that this is not so much based on reality but on ideals in a world where nature does not work in such absolutes.

Therefore societies tend not to favour outliers and the best solution has been to attempt to marginalize and place blame directly on the shoulders of these transgressors. This has implied being accused of choosing a "lifestyle" or conversely of being mental defectives in need of reparation.

The studies show that transgender people suffer most from the stigma of society’s judgment and not by virtue of their natures. This means that if they were publically allowed to be genuine reflections of themselves they would have far less emotional and mental problems than they currently face.

In my generation it was about hiding and suppressing or transitioning in stealth whereas today it is about being in the public eye but more directly suffering the slings and arrows of intolerance. But in older native cultures where transgender people have been allowed to form part of the fabric of society, they have fared much better. This has proven to be the answer and will ultimately need to happen in our Western culture in order to accommodate the needs of our community.

This accommodation will not happen without a fight because there are still strongly resistant factions which cannot or will not easily let go of their fixed ideas.

The 1920's through to the 1970's witnessed true scientific curiosity via the work of Hirschfeld, Kinsey and Benjamin. But beginning in the 1980's we saw a shift where the transgender person became a type of deviant which culminated in the invention of utterly stupid terminology such as "target location error" marking the beginning of a new shift in our society towards arriving at predetermined conclusions without proper data.

But now for some good news: even if public opinion on transgender origins seems to be mixed depending on who you talk to, the latest survey data seems to suggest a swing in favour of more tolerance especially among women and the young. Why doesn't that surprise me.


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Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…