Skip to main content

conversion therapy

When I first went to get treatment for my dysphoria I thought I was going for conversion therapy. I honestly wanted them to cure me; what they promised to help me with instead was self-acceptance which I earnestly didn't want. Or more appropriately I thought I didn’t want.

They knew something that I didn't: that my gender dysphoria wasn't my fault and I needed to examine it up close. It took several more years to get to a place where I could feel comfortable with who I was.

I used to be in a marriage that I thought would only work if I “fixed” myself. In the process I learnt that there were bigger issues present and my being trans was a ruse. No one deserves to be blind sided with news that wasn't disclosed from the outset but if you are upfront from the start the partner cannot plead ignorance. There is a plethora of information available to them online about what being transgender means.

If that person sees it as perversion or mental illness then you are at an impasse because conversion therapy isn't the solution.

I truly and honestly believe that true love can accommodate a transgender partner most especially if a full transition is not a desired goal. Therefore to be held hostage by an intransigent spouse who thinks you are disturbed is not a good recipe for a healthy and sustainable future.

I wouldn't dare presume to advise anyone on their relationship but would only counsel you examine yours closely to make sure it's not a one way street.



Comments

  1. i understand where you are coming from and shall start reading more of your blog
    Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

prejudice disguised as objective rectitude

So here is Professor Jordan Peterson perhaps justly calling out the excesses of political correctness gone mad. But then he extends it to not indulging transgender people the basic dignity of being addressed in their preferred pronoun. To do so for him would cost nothing and to stand on literal principle seems to serve little use other than to send a message of disdain.

If you have transitioned or even live as the opposite gender is costs me nothing to address you in your preferred pronouns. What difference does it make to me and what am I trying to tell you when I don't?

Peterson wants to stand on his rights to call reality what it is except that in this case the exact objective escapes me. But of course the right wing Federalist is in love with him because he calls a spade a spade.

If I see a rock I can call it that but then the rock doesn’t have any feelings. To address a transgender woman "her" and "she" is not undermining my rights as a person in any way b…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.