Skip to main content

high expectations

It's funny isn’t it?

Here are some genetic women detesting the sartorial requirements of their job where some of us transgender people would love to exercise that option.

Many women in the corporate world wear tailored skirt suits and heels and then long to ditch them once at home in favour of a T-shirt and shorts. Men are much the same in abandoning the tie and stiff white shirt which for some is a type of prison. Of course not all of us are the same but my point is that we all to some degree bow to societal and corporate pressure and comply.

The expectations relative to our particular gender role have always been rigid and hence you will see only a tiny fragment of society rebel; such is the pressure of conformance where failure to comply invariably invites ridicule. Beyond clothing are also the behavioral cues which signal that this is a man or this is a woman. Here ambiguity also invites scorn and derision although that is slowly beginning to change.

If today you are a boy who dresses as a girl or a girl who dresses as a boy don't let anyone tell you different because you don't want to look back on your life one day and realize you lived it on someone else's terms.

Think how many people out there might want to escape expectation but are afraid to. Perhaps our own example of pushing the envelope will help provide them the courage to do so.


Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…