Skip to main content

I meet one of my readers

Although Davina didn't know it at the time, she is the first of my readers that I have ever met in person. She had contacted me quite some time ago signalling her intent to be in Montreal at the end of October and asked if I would like to meet. I wholeheartedly agreed to do so.

For the record she lives in south America and travels quite extensively for work.

I suggested a resto in the downtown core for brunch at 10 30 am. By then I had already attended my church service and was primed to meet Davina and have a bite to eat.

The conversation flowed well and like other trans people I have met there were similarities but also divergences confirming all the more that we are indeed a mosaic.

We spent a nice couple of hours discussing our histories and the time just flew by. Needless to say it will be my distinct pleasure to overlap again. As a side note she has met Stana in person before and confirmed she is just as nice as she presents herself in her blog.

Turns out that Davina is a lovely person with lots of interesting things to say and I thoroughly enjoyed our time together.








Comments

  1. Thank you for the "nice" comments! Davina is one of my Chicago House Sisters at Fantasia Fair. So sorry I missed her this year!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah! Finally! I was wondering where you live since that info isn't in your profile. Montreal. Cool. I've never been there but rode my motorcycle up to Toronto this Summer to visit friends. (I live in NY.) Now to continue searching for the other pieces of the puzzle -- your age and what you do for a living... Sorry to be such a stalker!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

a blending

An interesting thing is happening to me: as I have fully embraced being transgender my male and female anima are becoming blended. The female side is no longer an unwelcome appendage which, as a result, has allowed me to craft a more genuine and happier male image.

I dress when I want to and sometimes I cut outings shorter than before. I am my own master in this regard and feel in control.

Don't get me wrong in that the dysphoria is not going away and is sometimes like a wild stallion that threatens to jump the fence but I have learnt to understand it’s demands after all these years hence a transition for me is definitely not in the cards. At this point I am not even foreseeing a social one.

The two sides are no longer in conflict and they are now intertwined to create a fusion that is unique to me. That answer finally came when I reached a full level of self assurance about who I am and learned to embrace that I am trans and yes, that includes my dysphoria's erotic undertones…