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A transition is not about throwing out the old person you were but instead about repatriating the part that got suppressed for fear of discovery.

How many of you know stereotypically feminine women? I actually know very few and that is because they also have a masculine side; no matter how large or small. Some transgender people make the mistake initially of trying to drown their masculine traits in the bathtub when what is required is a fusion.

Your genuine self resides somewhere between the masculine and the feminine.

Therefore we experiment over the years and at first become facsimiles of extreme feminine stereotypes. I suspect this is a kind of over compensation for all those years of suppression and react like a uncoiled spring that overshoots.

Then over time we learn to fuse the two solitudes which includes toning down the exaggerated clothing and mannerisms. We learn to dress appropriately for the occasion and the setting.

As I have aged this has happened to me and Joanna has become a more balanced fusion as she has been fleshed out in the real world.


  1. I could not agree more. A couple of years ago I wrote a post on another transgender persons blog, that in a way I was transitioning as I was coming to terms with my gender dysphoria. She flat out told me I was wrong. Clearly I've thought about that a lot! Regardless, I do feel that I really have transitioned in my way, to someone who understands her GD, accepts herself, and is becoming proud to tell her friends and family about her journey. If that isn't a transition I don't know what is!

    1. Your first step is self acceptance Emma. After that what you do is up to you since it is your life. We have plenty of evidence now that dysphoria is a graded phenomenon and can be treated accordingly. For evidence go to the WPATH website for treatment options listed....

  2. I'm well on my way to self-acceptance, thankfully, or at least I think so. Great idea to check out the WPATH SoC. I didn't go through it all but I didn't find much that was specific. More like, see a therapist to get help assessing ones level of dysphoria, then perhaps HRT, vocal and mannerisms, facial hair and facial feminization, surgery.

    I admit that my therapist isn't familiar with assessing gender dysphoria. I like my gender therapist but I haven't really clicked with her, so maybe I should search out a new one.

    Any more ideas or examples (maybe in your writing?) are all appreciated. Thanks so much, Joanna.

    1. Emma WPATH basically gives guidelines to help gender dysphoric people to get to a stage where they can be comfortable with being who they are and that transition is an option but not necessarily a final target. I also think that therapists are hard to find and ultimately are no substitute for your own hard work and reflecting on where you need to be. I wrote about this a number of posts ago...


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