Skip to main content

repatriation

A transition is not about throwing out the old person you were but instead about repatriating the part that got suppressed for fear of discovery.

How many of you know stereotypically feminine women? I actually know very few and that is because they also have a masculine side; no matter how large or small. Some transgender people make the mistake initially of trying to drown their masculine traits in the bathtub when what is required is a fusion.

Your genuine self resides somewhere between the masculine and the feminine.

Therefore we experiment over the years and at first become facsimiles of extreme feminine stereotypes. I suspect this is a kind of over compensation for all those years of suppression and react like a uncoiled spring that overshoots.

Then over time we learn to fuse the two solitudes which includes toning down the exaggerated clothing and mannerisms. We learn to dress appropriately for the occasion and the setting.

As I have aged this has happened to me and Joanna has become a more balanced fusion as she has been fleshed out in the real world.



Comments

  1. I could not agree more. A couple of years ago I wrote a post on another transgender persons blog, that in a way I was transitioning as I was coming to terms with my gender dysphoria. She flat out told me I was wrong. Clearly I've thought about that a lot! Regardless, I do feel that I really have transitioned in my way, to someone who understands her GD, accepts herself, and is becoming proud to tell her friends and family about her journey. If that isn't a transition I don't know what is!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your first step is self acceptance Emma. After that what you do is up to you since it is your life. We have plenty of evidence now that dysphoria is a graded phenomenon and can be treated accordingly. For evidence go to the WPATH website for treatment options listed....

      Delete
  2. I'm well on my way to self-acceptance, thankfully, or at least I think so. Great idea to check out the WPATH SoC. I didn't go through it all but I didn't find much that was specific. More like, see a therapist to get help assessing ones level of dysphoria, then perhaps HRT, vocal and mannerisms, facial hair and facial feminization, surgery.

    I admit that my therapist isn't familiar with assessing gender dysphoria. I like my gender therapist but I haven't really clicked with her, so maybe I should search out a new one.

    Any more ideas or examples (maybe in your writing?) are all appreciated. Thanks so much, Joanna.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emma WPATH basically gives guidelines to help gender dysphoric people to get to a stage where they can be comfortable with being who they are and that transition is an option but not necessarily a final target. I also think that therapists are hard to find and ultimately are no substitute for your own hard work and reflecting on where you need to be. I wrote about this a number of posts ago...

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

prejudice disguised as objective rectitude

So here is Professor Jordan Peterson perhaps justly calling out the excesses of political correctness gone mad. But then he extends it to not indulging transgender people the basic dignity of being addressed in their preferred pronoun. To do so for him would cost nothing and to stand on literal principle seems to serve little use other than to send a message of disdain.

If you have transitioned or even live as the opposite gender is costs me nothing to address you in your preferred pronouns. What difference does it make to me and what am I trying to tell you when I don't?

Peterson wants to stand on his rights to call reality what it is except that in this case the exact objective escapes me. But of course the right wing Federalist is in love with him because he calls a spade a spade.

If I see a rock I can call it that but then the rock doesn’t have any feelings. To address a transgender woman "her" and "she" is not undermining my rights as a person in any way b…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.