I am saying this because I have read so many blogs of people who have experienced the same thing and because it was that same way in my own marriage. As a result many of us settle for that one outing a month to a support meeting and spend the rest of the time thinking about the next one. This is not much of a life in my opinion.
I don’t blame the partners as many didn’t sign up for this from the outset. Even those that knew may have seen things escalate to a point beyond what they expected. The fact is that we tend to discover ourselves so slowly and then can’t roll things back once at a new plateau. I would never put Joanna back in the box but not only because I don’t want to but because I cannot.
I feel bad for those of you who feel stuck with no pat answers for what to do. You may love your spouse deeply but they may be justified in claiming that they fell for false advertising when they married you. This is the price to pay for a late coming out party when you realize who you really were all along.
I would dearly love to see the day when no transgender person feels compelled to hide any part of themselves from the outset and self-realizes early enough to avoid a gut wrenching revelation in the middle of a relationship.
From what I can see so far, the next generations will do far better than we did.