This post is prompted by the recent featured post on T-Central from the blog of someone who identifies as a healing crossdresser. It is not about making judgments or trying to separate us into groups but there are differences in our respective histories that bear pointing out and one of them is the age at which we first realized that there was something not quite right with our gender identity; or perhaps more appropriately: how it clashed with expectation.
I remember being 3 or 4 years old and having my mother scold me about wearing her shoes and up until then not realizing that I was supposed to be a boy. That incident marked me for life and will forever be forged in my memory. Henceforth my dressing went underground and was relegated to times when I would not be seen.
I have always had gender dysphoria and don’t know what it is like to exist without it. Had I not been dysphoric I would have had little interest in seeking out crossdressing as a coping mechanism and I did my utmost to discard my feelings over the years all to no avail. Dressing is now the main management technique for my dysphoria without which I would be despondent and dysfunctional.
There are others who began dressing post puberty who may have done so strictly as a sexual interest. There is nothing wrong with this and if they can stop because they desire to perhaps they should try. It is possible to have sexual addictions that can be treated.
Most of the blogs I read belong to gender dysphoric people who have a long history of dealing with their situation. They live in varying stages of transition from no medicinal intervention to full GRS because there is no perfect formula and because we are all constrained by our life decisions, family situations and economic realities.
I just never want to see another person confuse crossdressing interests with gender dysphoria because they don’t belong in the same sphere. Those who are gender dysphoric have known since earliest memory and it is up to them to deal with it in their own manner. Ultimately, however, it cannot be ignored because failure to do so could result in a perfect storm which will completely ravage your life when you least expect it.
When I was young I would go to curing crossdressing websites thinking that this is who I was. I had been a practicing Catholic and still am today and hoped for a solution for my affliction. Well it turns out that you can't pray the trans away anymore than you can the gay. We are born this way and must deal with it I which ever manner we are best able.
But I swear I am going to bitch slap (very kindly of course) the next religious fundamentalist that gets these two subjects mixed up.