Saturday, 26 November 2016

blocking everyone else out

Sorting yourself out after many years of formulating shifting narratives about what causes your gender variance and how to grapple with it can be a daunting task. I am also not certain that there is a perfect resolution to dysphoria in every case. Yes some people transition but it doesn’t go equally well for everyone. Hence there are those who you would think should be deliriously happy with the results and yet are left with ambiguous feelings while others thrive.

This is why I maintain here that creating a unique formula for yourself is superior to following a narrative that doesn't fit you. Life isn't a on-off switch analogous to an all or nothing proposition and the hardest part of the puzzle seems to be embracing that you are different from the rest of the world.

What makes this task a little easier today is that society is, on the whole, more tolerant and educated on most topics than its ever been. So while it’s no picnic to be transgender it is a better time than ever and so are your options in grappling with it.

The universal theme for me is that bucking any trend isn't easy no matter what your circumstances and the sooner you accept your situation the more readily will you be able to fashion a viable solution that works. I think the trick is that you also need to block out the opinions of the well-meaning whose own approach might not ultimately be to your liking. That includes other transgender people whose formula might be best suited just for them.

The old thinking was go all the way or suppress. But now gender variance may be a saving grace that many of us have always been looking for as an answer to our earliest prayers.



2 comments:

  1. Blocking everyone else out seems to me excellent advice. Intolerance isn't limited to the cisgender world. There is also an element of intolerance within the transgender community. (I wish my mind were such that I could quote each of these examples exactly, but alas my mind is more like Swiss cheese these days so a paraphrase will have to do.) The intolerance I have in mind is proclaimed by individuals who tout HRT to the exclusion of any other path. Apparently HRT is the gateway, the definitive member card to the transgender community. Both examples were recently found on a popular forum.

    1. You will never achieve the beauty you desire without HRT.

    2. You can't be a real trans-woman without taking HRT.

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    1. everyone has an opinion on this subject Kati but it is like trying to hit a moving target. You are entirely on your own and the best thing you can do is what works for you and brings you peace of mind. Everything else must be discarded...

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