Skip to main content

blocking everyone else out

Sorting yourself out after many years of formulating shifting narratives about what causes your gender variance and how to grapple with it can be a daunting task. I am also not certain that there is a perfect resolution to dysphoria in every case. Yes some people transition but it doesn’t go equally well for everyone. Hence there are those who you would think should be deliriously happy with the results and yet are left with ambiguous feelings while others thrive.

This is why I maintain here that creating a unique formula for yourself is superior to following a narrative that doesn't fit you. Life isn't a on-off switch analogous to an all or nothing proposition and the hardest part of the puzzle seems to be embracing that you are different from the rest of the world.

What makes this task a little easier today is that society is, on the whole, more tolerant and educated on most topics than its ever been. So while it’s no picnic to be transgender it is a better time than ever and so are your options in grappling with it.

The universal theme for me is that bucking any trend isn't easy no matter what your circumstances and the sooner you accept your situation the more readily will you be able to fashion a viable solution that works. I think the trick is that you also need to block out the opinions of the well-meaning whose own approach might not ultimately be to your liking. That includes other transgender people whose formula might be best suited just for them.

The old thinking was go all the way or suppress. But now gender variance may be a saving grace that many of us have always been looking for as an answer to our earliest prayers.



Comments

  1. Blocking everyone else out seems to me excellent advice. Intolerance isn't limited to the cisgender world. There is also an element of intolerance within the transgender community. (I wish my mind were such that I could quote each of these examples exactly, but alas my mind is more like Swiss cheese these days so a paraphrase will have to do.) The intolerance I have in mind is proclaimed by individuals who tout HRT to the exclusion of any other path. Apparently HRT is the gateway, the definitive member card to the transgender community. Both examples were recently found on a popular forum.

    1. You will never achieve the beauty you desire without HRT.

    2. You can't be a real trans-woman without taking HRT.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. everyone has an opinion on this subject Kati but it is like trying to hit a moving target. You are entirely on your own and the best thing you can do is what works for you and brings you peace of mind. Everything else must be discarded...

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

prejudice disguised as objective rectitude

So here is Professor Jordan Peterson perhaps justly calling out the excesses of political correctness gone mad. But then he extends it to not indulging transgender people the basic dignity of being addressed in their preferred pronoun. To do so for him would cost nothing and to stand on literal principle seems to serve little use other than to send a message of disdain.

If you have transitioned or even live as the opposite gender is costs me nothing to address you in your preferred pronouns. What difference does it make to me and what am I trying to tell you when I don't?

Peterson wants to stand on his rights to call reality what it is except that in this case the exact objective escapes me. But of course the right wing Federalist is in love with him because he calls a spade a spade.

If I see a rock I can call it that but then the rock doesn’t have any feelings. To address a transgender woman "her" and "she" is not undermining my rights as a person in any way b…

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…