The fact is that our sexuality has been impacted and there is no getting around it. Our earliest desire to be female piggy-backed onto our developing psychosexual identity during puberty and hence we cannot be conventional because simply put: 99% of males don't have gender dysphoria.
Now I don’t need to explain to my usual readers that Ray Blanchard spectacularly failed to conclusively prove his theory because to do that you would need to firmly establish a causal relationship. His intellectual dishonesty came in making a claim to science while not clearly acknowledging that the dysphoria could easily have preceded and have been the cause for the establishment of an erotic relationship which merged identity with orientation. In fact only Anne Lawrence makes this honest admission in her writings (see my previous post on this).
Regardless, coming to terms with my abnormal sexuality has helped me put away the idea of transition and accept that its now a permanent part of my psychosexual identity. Hence I now think of our situation in terms of statistics and know that we are in good if albeit small company.
Before I discovered the internet I languished in the certainty that I was an abomination. Comprehending the mechanisms that contributed to creating my particular situation has made for a world of difference because it allows for more dispassionate and lucid thinking. It allowed me to accept that your identity is fused by puberty it cannot be undone anymore than a person can change their sexual orientation in mid-life. You are who you are and accepting that fact makes dealing with gender dysphoria just a little more bearable.
Back when our outdated definitions strayed no further than the terms "transvestite" and "transsexual" many of us were petrified to be either but even more ashamed to be the former because it was associated with perversion and aberrant sexuality. Our prudish Western culture could not understand either strain but somehow the narrative of "woman trapped in a man's body" could be seen to be more palatable under the wrapping of a condition. In their writings Benjamin and even Blanchard mused about a possible common root origin for both but of course never had their answer.
This apparent clear cut distinction led many gender dysphorics to fear being abnormal males and to think of themselves more as women in waiting because it was a far better scenario than being a pervert. The word crossdresser was invented as an attempt to soften the terminology.
The truth is that the etiology of gender dysphoria completely eludes us and many decades after the publishing of the Transsexual Phenomenon (arguably the best book written on the subject) we are not much further ahead in knowledge. Therefore it is up to you to accept your reality and forge ahead with a plan that respects your identity with the goal of keeping you balanced and as content as you can. If that plan includes transition then only you can know but it is clear that for some it has been a good option.
Just remember that you are in good company.