Skip to main content

you either caused your dysphoria or you didn't

There are only two possible scenarios:

1) You caused your own dysphoria
2) The dysphoria is pre-existing

If you believe that number 1 is true then you should be able to exert some measure of control and even eradicate it completely perhaps through therapy. However if you believe that number 2 is true then your approach becomes one of managing a reality that you have only partial control over.

After studying this subject for many years now and getting to know myself I know that number 2 is correct; at least for me. This is why I have so stridently fought the sexual depravity model which aims on putting blame on us for causing our own problems.

Two posts ago, I wrote about understanding your value and if you believe that number 2 is true then you must accept your reality, embrace it and not feel sorry for yourself. If transition is what will make you happy then go for it but know that there are a myriad of options that can also work.

I used to believe that number 1 was true and so I prayed to God, held my breath and suppressed until my carotid artery dissection came close to ending my life in my mid forties. I was fortunate to have survived and the reparation both mental and physical has given me a new lease on existence.

Remember that there are only 2 scenarios possible and if you aren't dysphoric then enjoy crossdressing to your heart’s content if it makes you happy. It doesn't matter what people think of you but only what you feel about yourself.

Enjoy your life because it is short and because it belongs only to you.

Comments

  1. I've contemplated and worried about this long before I had even heard there is such a thing as gender dysphoria. I too wished it would go away or that I could forget about it. I also put myself down for what felt like a compulsion that I should be able to free myself of and, if not, I was to blame for that, too.

    I'm lucky, I think, that my dysphoria started when I was 4 or 5, maybe even earlier. Through kindergarten, elementary school, and junior high, I was on autopilot, raiding my mother's trash for used pantyhose from which I'd cut out the panties to wear, hand sewing simple jumpsuits and tops from rags, fantasizing at bedtime, and overall, glued to the TV in admiration of Marlo Thomas, Stephanie Powers, Elizabeth Montgomery, and Patty Duke, studying them like an explorer in a foreign land. In hindsight, given that, how else could it be that I wasn't born with gender dysphoria?

    The good news lately I think is that this is becoming accepted by the psychology, medical, and scientific communities. Look at how many children are now being supported in their expression, exploration, and possible transition! I'm afraid I was born a half century too early... :-)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…