This was brought home to me a few years ago when I went out with a crossdresser and his wife. The evening was fun and full of interesting conversation but as time wore on I began to realize that there were major differences between this person and myself. For me this was an issue of identity versus for him a social and perhaps sexual turn on which he shared with his wife. They might go out a few times a year like this and then put “her” back in a suitcase.
I am a borderline transsexual and nothing will ever change that. After 54 years of existence I know it deep in my bones.
Gender dysphoric people cannot turn this on and off like a faucet because it is part of their everyday reality. You think about it every day of your existence and it never goes away. People who are not can put on a dress and go out for an evening and then not think about it again for months. My entire life has been about wishing I could do that and it is also why self-acceptance took me so long to achieve. I am one of the last people you would have seen voluntarily and just for fun go out for an evening on the town in a dress if I weren't for the way I am. Dressing is a way for me to cope.
Those who are like me will understand my words very well.