This is an interesting observation on the millenial generation. The perils of social media, instant gratification, learning patience and corporate greed....
NB: I am also slowly starting work on a book tentatively titled "Different" which will resemble this blog in style and discuss my origins but also this complex topic in light of everything we have learned thus far as well as offer my own analysis. Hopefully there is enough interest to warrant a release via Amazon or some other online retailer.
We are all wrong about all kinds of things in our lives and make many errors and assumptions that are completely off the mark.
What is interesting is that as I age I am learning to be more analytical and to appreciate the value in being wrong. It has allowed me to find better and more satisfying answers to things I thought I understood.
We grow up swallowing things and accepting them verbatim and hopefully with the passage of time apply more and more discernment as a litmus test for their veracity. Hence knowing what we don't know has as much value as what we do because we can stop ourselves from solidifying an opinion until we gather more data.
Have you noticed that very ignorant people tend to be easily led into a type of thinking and buy into it like sheep? Arrogance as a flip side also breeds thinking that won't yield to contradictory evidence.
However, ignorance is not bliss either. I think that understanding one might be wrong should be the signal to dig deeper for a m…
Okay, if someone takes HRT why does their desire to crossdress or transition sometimes diminish?
I wrote here yesterday how we go through puberty and become imprinted with whatever baggage we are carrying at the time which means that your sexuality has been tied to your draw towards the feminine. Hence if we remove testosterone from the equation the libido is dampened thus helping to soothe the dysphoria but also diminish the need for feminization which seems counterintuitive right? But it's not really since your dysphoria, exposed to a cold shower of estrogen, has had its sexual energy greatly diminished.
With a lower level of dysphoria the person can now decide where they reside on the spectrum but they risk being feminized physically beyond a point they are willing to go. For some people a small amount of HRT is what they need to keep their dysphoria in check without entering into a full blown transition.
When I read Susan's (from transitioning into tomorrow) post it was a…
I have pondered long and hard over a number of years now as to what could cause cross gender arousal and have come to some fundamental conclusions.
Firstly, transgender people experience cross gender identification long before puberty which makes post-pubescent arousal a symptom of gender dysphoria and not its cause.
Secondly, sexual feelings for the opposite sex can interfere with that identification until the person figures out what their ultimate orientation might be which, for some, is decided post transition. Calling this target location error is completely erroneous since the person understands exactly what is happening to them.
What I surmise is that during the formation of a sexual being every aspect of that person's thought processes is carried through the transition into puberty thus creating a unique imprint that cannot be easily altered. In other words, passing through that doorway with whatever you are carrying will impact your erotic imprinting. That individual is t…
I did actually start out with the intent of living a conventional life but it turns out that I wasn’t for me. But it wasn't for lack of trying.
I plunged myself head first into things and did what I thought was expected all the while running into mental road blocks through trying to suppress who I was. Those domestic suburban years when my children were young were busy and I was able to concentrate on soccer and hockey practices, doctor's appointments and mowing lawns. This is what most of us from our generation did to the best of our ability.
Now this void of not being needed quite so intensely is sometimes hard to get used to and I oscillate between nostalgia a newly found sense of freedom.
Each stage of life is far from perfect and while we are embroiled in them we cannot appreciate fully because we are so intensely living the experience. That mindfulness that should accompany each segment sometimes gets jettisoned only to appear later as rose coloured memories we can savo…
There is value in the mundane and ordinary because that is where we spend most of our lives. Think of this part of life as the vegetables while the steak and dessert are those fleeting moments where we celebrate unexpected euphoria.
Mark Manson’s book is called “The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck” and it deals with high expectations we place for our lives and the increasing focus on having it all. We celebrate the special and unique in everyone forgetting that not everyone will be and place emphasis on finding it at all costs lest we fail to measure up. We have found a way to strip suffering and hard work from the formula of life which allows through contrast to know the happiness we seek. That struggle lived is part of the journey which leads to true fulfillment through learned experience.
When I was young the old adage was that it’s about the journey and not the destination and one of the unavoidable parts of the human condition is suffering. Yet with its experience comes the forma…
I remember being about 11 years old and playing this song. It was one of the first pop tunes I ever learned on the piano and I had asked my father to start me on lessons upon first hearing Elton John's music. Later I went on to classical, prog rock and jazz but this was what initiated my interest.
I played "Your Song" at my youngest sister's wedding 20 years ago as my future brother-in-law sang it to her and, all these years later, I still play it on occasion and it immediately brings me back to my youth.
As a transgender person trying to figure myself out I needed to test my mettle in the world. So while dressing at home in my mother’s clothes when I was young was sufficient for a time, I would break out of those confines in my early 20's.
For me it wasn’t about standing out in the crowd and being admired but simply testing whether I could blend seamlessly into society (at least only as well as a woman over 6 feet can).
Besides, dressing in lingerie and sky high heels and staring longingly into the mirror wasn’t me and it is how I eventually determined that I leaned much more towards transsexualism than someone who merely got a sexual buzz from dressing. This part took a while to figure out and was intermingled with numerous purges and much soul searching.
But blending needn’t mean frumpy and my sense of style wasn’t going to be dampened by an attempt to pass by wearing sweat pants. Besides, this has much more to do with confidence than anything else. Now that I have tested mysel…
Trump base supporters think that every time a visible minority makes a gain in society it comes at the expense of a white person.
It’s not difficult to figure out who his base is: uneducated white blue collar workers some of whom have lost their jobs over the last number of years not to minorities but instead to a system that values individual prosperity more than collective advancement.
This is not going to be repaired easily and you won’t readily convince that 30% who see Trump as almost being infallible. However now that his border wall is at risk and he has made overtures towards making deals with the Democrats over DACA, he is beginning to rattle that base who saw the wall as a literal and symbolic metaphor for solving their job problems while feeding a racist bent.
The GOP establishment is stuck because they dare not anger Trump and face midterm election scorn from voters weary of a party that is beginning to crack at its foundations. The Democratic party w…
Pope Francis recently called out the Republican party and in particular those members from the religious right. Yes, the people who rail against abortion and the LGBT "agenda" and very little else. But please don't tread on their capitalist system that gives everyone the middle finger who doesn't belong to their clan.
Are you listening Paul Ryan man of Catholic principles as you try and screw people out of their health care?
Let's call a spade a spade shall we? Unbridled capitalism has nothing to do with Christian values so the GOP may want to stop calling themselves the party of middle America and old fashioned beliefs.
Now if the Democrats would ever grow a spine and shed their corporate sponsors.
That young transgender woman that I thought only worked at the downtown Oakville Starbucks outlet I most frequent was suddenly at the one in Oakville Place Mall. I recognized her immediately and she is not quite passable so I imagine that many people know and yet everyone, colleague and customer alike, seem to treat her normally. Something I am very glad about.
I am waiting for my coffee and suddenly there is a look of recognition and she smiles at me
“Oh, hi you go to the other Starbucks”
“Yes, how are you and what are you doing at this one?” I responded
“This one is 5 minutes away from where I live and no long bus ride anymore”
She hands me my coffee “have a wonderful day” and I say the same to her and miss the name on her badge although I make a mental note to ask her name the next time.
I have this funny feeling that she doesn’t know I am trans although I could be wrong but it doesn’t matter because the objective is not to point fingers at each other in recognition. We are more an…
No it's not "Breaking Bad" and yet "Ozark" feels a little like it; the everyman embroiled in a series of happenings which have dire consequences and play themselves out like a series of dominoes. In this drama the acting of Jason Bateman as Marty Byrde and Laura Linney as Wendy Byrde steals the show as they play the hapless couple trying to survive the chaos of a bad decision gone sour.
I wouldn't let the tomato meter score fool you as I think this show is much better than the critics would lead you to believe. I for one inhaled the first season and I can't wait for the second one.
I don't know, but there is something about these types of dramas that captivates me. Whether it's "Breaking Bad" or "House of Cards" or this one, watching human beings try and deal with moral dilemmas as they are put under duress just makes for good material and all the more if the situation should be beyond their capabilities. I also greatly appre…
Reading Clare’s blog post the other day prompted me to go to Miranda Yardley’s page. The first thing I noticed is that she doesn’t at all pass which is not intended as a slur but I will get to why this might be relevant in a moment.
Miranda is a different type of trans activist in that she wants to use transgender women to broaden what it means to be a man rather than consider a transitioned woman to be a woman. This of course presumes that being a woman is strictly defined by biological sex which is not really a confirmed thing. I mean yes you are either born with a penis or a vagina (at least most people are) but how you identify has everything to do with what is between the ears.
I am on the record here as saying that transgender people should do whatever they need to deal with their dysphoria which need not involve transition but certainly can. So in the latter case why would I refer to someone who has successfully fully transitioned as a man?
Going into a woman’s clothing store and feeling comfortable doing it would have been a daunting and virtually unthinkable thing 10 years ago. However, today it is something I don’t give a second thought to. I walk in calmly and start browsing the rack until invariably a sales person will approach me and ask if I am looking for something in particular.
Sometimes I begin some banter with this person which will usually help make my experience that much more pleasant. She might ask me if they can start a room for me and every time my frugalness will kick in and I will politely decline.
In Montreal they will sometimes greet me in a warm fashion and ask me how things are going since the last time we saw each other which I am very happy to do. Some ask to make sure I come out and show them some item I have tried on so they can comment on the fit. This last bit used to scare me silly and now leaves me unfazed because I know who I am.
Later at the cash I am usually asked for my phone number so…
For several years, my blog was my primary source of self help in grappling with and trying to comprehend my dysphoria. At times it was a jumbled mess of thoughts and ideas but after a while things began to coalesce in my mind as my thinking on the subject matured.
Over time, it has morphed into an expression of who I am and hopefully helps others sort through the emotions relating to their own gender issues and maybe even inspires them to have confidence in themselves. There are no simple answers for dealing with being transgender but I have found that it is a bit like eating an elephant; one sorts things out one bite at a time.
My writing is now mostly focused on social justice because the world is full of people just waiting to pounce on things they do not comprehend. It becomes all the more incumbent upon people like us that we address that prejudice with our heads held high. Early on in my life I saw some of the ugliness in human nature and, as a shy kid born with a malformation o…
I was recently re-reading sections of J. Michael Bailey’s controversial 2003 book called “The Man Who Would be Queen” and the first thing that came back to me is how utterly unscientific it is. Literally based on someone else’s work of 15 years earlier (Ray Blanchard’s largely ignored 1989 book), Bailey builds his work entirely on the back of the other without adding any scientific evidence to bolster Blanchard’s argumentation.
One of the sections in the book is called: “Autogynephilic and Homosexual Transsexuals: How to Tell Them Apart” where he simply uses a score sheet of how to distinguish between the two alleged taxonomies of transsexuals without proving the theory is actually correct; mostly because he cannot but never mind.
The section is literally a punch list regarding the age of transition asking whether the person was considered feminine in childhood, whether they were ever attracted to or married to a woman and their choice of profession.
One part of the interview that Monica (from the Heroines of my Life) did with Fran Fried really struck a chord with me:
Monika: "You transitioned into a woman in your late 40s. Have you ever regretted doing this so late in your life?"
Fran: "I guess everything in its time – though it would’ve made my life a hell of a lot easier had I been able to do this at a much younger age. But I couldn’t have done this back when I was a kid, in the ’60s and ’70s, for several reasons. I grew up with strict parents in a Catholic home. Also, there was very little understanding of gender dysphoria at the time, among professionals and laypeople alike – I mean there wasn’t really a common language until the early 2010s, when you think about it – and had I gone to a therapist back then as a tortured teen, I might have ended up even more screwed-up
So yes – I would’ve loved to have been able to transition as a child or a teen, because it might have helped me avoid years of depression, and th…
Social conservatism is not about live and let live; it is exactly the opposite. This is why you will read articles from its disciples on numerous sites on the internet criticizing any group or movement that doesn’t fit into their idea of acceptability.
Take heed libertarians that I am not talking about you.
So Ben Shapiro, Anne Coulter, Tomi Lahren and others spend their time dumping on groups who ostensibly want to be left alone as in not being discriminated against or even worse murdered. For these people Black Lives Matter becomes a terrorist organization and the Antifa are the exact equivalent of Nazi skinheads. Take note that I am not advocating violence only illustrating a point.
These right wing social justice warriors are all about propping up white people, keeping immigrants to a minimum and calling transgender men or women sufferers of mental illness whose acceptance into the societal fold signals its eventual demise.
You will note that people on the left are fighting the ri…
Normally I am not someone who cares much about cleavage but once or twice I have bought a top that I thought might have benefited from its presence. So when I almost literally ran into this Wats Up stick on bra for $20 I thought what the heck.
The idea is that you pinch your chest together and then stick bra on and for an extra boost you pull the draw string so that it presses your chest together even more.
I am not certain it will survive extensive wear but then I don't plan to wear it every time I go out under my regular bra and forms. But I must say that it worked for me and it wasn't the least bit uncomfortable.
We shall see what occasional repeated use will yield.
Having a son with anxiety can be frustrating as is any problem our children have. As a parent you want to shoulder their ills but you also know that wouldn't work in their favor.
My son is doing better than he was when this whole episode started at puberty but the new challenges inherent in encroaching adulthood don't make things easy either. The body, a cocktail of raging hormones and unintended narcissism spurred on by a fragile self identity, struggles to find balance. My own adolescence wasn't my finest hour but at least it was devoid of the medications I worry we dispense with too much haste these days. Today, one in four students suffer from some form of depression or anxiety which is a far higher number than when I was his age.
He has just come off one medication which means we are headed in the right direction. At his worst his mind was dulled into a partial stupor which he found helped his anxiety but limited his ability to function with a sharp mind. Now he likes…
It was all over NPR and other media outlets; people helping people in hurricane ravaged Texas. Yes in odorous Trump's new divisive America, Latino helped white who in turn helped black and vice versa.
We saw the proof that Americans are fundamentally good people who are being talked down to and grouped into warring factions for political gains. But when the water rose the goodness of the heart prevailed.
This administration can continue to support white supremacy and prevent transgender people from serving in the military but it will all backfire on them in the end. The stories of bravery I heard all this week proves that this will be so.
People worked extra shifts at hospitals and drove boats around picking up people stranded on rooftops and did what the human heart was meant to do and, by comparison, Trump with his political antics made himself look even smaller still.
When you are out in public there are two things you can do: one is to worry about how you are being perceived while the other is to go about your business and be yourself.
I have lived both of those scenarios in my life and I can assure you the latter is much more pleasant. The first happens not only to people who dress as the opposite sex but also to transitioned women who don’t always escape scrutiny either through certain physical traits, voice or mannerisms. It also happens to anyone who doesn't fit into a cookie cutter mold of conformance whatever their difference may be.
What was the biggest change in me that allowed me to pass from one stage to the other? my own attitude which is ultimately the only thing you can control. I was simply tired of worrying about what others might think. The alternative is to live in fear in a world that is full of people just waiting to pounce and you only give them power by simply showing that fear.
Having online chats with my friend Sherry is not only cathartic but also just plain fun. Some people would describe her as the archetype of the early transitioning androphilic but I just think of her as the sweet and lovely lady that she is. Sherry and I met online about 10 years ago and she helped me with my struggles before we lost touch except that now we have re-established contact.
Sherry is aware of her sexuality, how it makes her feel and how it impacts her partner and men in general. She also knows what types of clothing and shoes suit her body and that women possess more sexual power than men.
Many transgender people, myself included, worried about cross gender arousal and what it meant. Did it disqualify our transgender feelings somehow? was it a sign of perversion?
The answer is none of the above.
I wrestled with this issue in this blog for a long time but finally concluded that the set of circumstances that create a transgender person also help create a unique sexuality t…
A former school mate contacted me and asked if I wanted to meet someone. I bristled at first then hesitated and finally thought what the heck.
We met this past Saturday after me having cancelled once by email saying that I didn’t really want to enter into anything right now.
She was a perfectly nice person and very well educated to boot and her father had been my high school French teacher as it turns out. We spoke for 3 hours and I laid all my cards on the table because by this age I don't do any form of pretence. It went well and the conversation flowed nicely.
But then yesterday I weighed everything and decided I am not going to pursue anything but I cannot explain why. Maybe it’s the general feeling that I don’t want to go through all the work again. My life is far from perfect and yet I can manage things on my own better than if I add another set of constraints to it. Relationships are hard enough without dysphoria added in for good measure.
I must plead ignorance in trying to understand why any transsexual woman would want to self identify under a model where they are considered mentally ill men. After all, Blanchard says you are either a homosexual who desperately desires sex with heterosexual men or you are a heterosexual who wants to have sex with himself.
But without scientific proof that this model is correct why embrace it about yourself? After all, it has a negative outlook on transition as treatment for gender dysphoria. In addition, the vast majority of transsexual women are high functioning and continue to be after transition and suffer no more from mental illness than the rest of the population.
Even if you identified with the “homosexual transsexual” diagnosis there would be no advantage either as Blanchard did not establish hierarchical preference in his writings and for that matter neither does Anne Lawrence. In other words, you are still left with two sets of mentally ill men with barely a mention of femal…
This is a fascinating read about what it is like for trans men and how their lives change after they have transitioned. They blend in better than trans women and can "pass" and disappear into the background more seamlessly. As the article points out:
"...And that cultural sexism is often more visible to trans men, because most say they find it easier to be low-disclosure than trans women. They’re often not recognized as trans, which means they can be less vulnerable to obvious transphobia. Some call it “passing” or “going stealth”; others say those terms suggest secrecy or deception, preferring the term “low or no disclosure.” In practice, this means that a 6’2” woman is often more conspicuous than a 5’4” man. James Ward, a lawyer in San Francisco who transitioned about six years ago, put it this way: “We have the ability to just walk through the world and not have anybody look at you twice.”
They have gained more respect from society but have lost the ability to be mor…
I just heard this morning on NPR that the Trump administration is optimistic that Jared Kushner is going to negotiate a Middle East peace plan and all I can say is whatever they are smoking I want some. The word on this whole thing from the Palestinians is that they want their own state which is what past administrations have tried to help them achieve while this one couldn't be closer to Netanyahu.
Meanwhile race relations in the United States continue to become terse under this new era of empowerment for fringe right groups who saw this election as a sign to come out and be seen.
So to look for a bit of sanity in commentary we turn to Bill Moyers.
He was Lyndon B. Johnson's press secretary and a distinguished journalist for many years. He is an intelligent and dignified man and an old school reporter with many decades of service to his profession. Lawrence O'Donnell is no slouch either and listening to both of them is sheer pleasure.
Recently my friend texted me that he had broken up with his girlfriend so I called him straight away. He tells me she seemed to be unsure about what she wanted and he was tired of being the diligent boyfriend doing his best but never quite meeting expectation.
I wrote about this recently; the complications inherent in relationships and mentioned him in that entry.
He, like me, is the oldest in a large family and for him doing things for others is a way to show love. So, he would mow her lawn when she wasn’t there and would take things in stride when she found some reason not to be available to get together but then complain they didn't see each other enough. They each have a child and both being divorced it seemed like a balanced pairing but then it wasn’t. He never could quite measure up so in the end it was he who cut the cord realizing that this was going to be a steady state condition going forward: the boyfriend who couldn’t quite meet expectations.
Long Tall Sally is a store that sells garments and shoes for taller women and I have ordered from them before online. They are located in Mississauga so I decided to pay them a visit in person. They carry women's shoes up to size 15 and believe it or not I was told some women actually need that size.
There I met a young woman who worked there who must have been 6'2" and was very secure about her height which you could see that by the way she carried herself. So I went up to her and said:
"I bet people stare at you at the mall don't they?"
To which she responded:
"Yep you too I bet right?"
"Yes but you seem to be very secure about it" I said
"They can look at me all they like" she said to which I added was a great attitude to have.
A few days later a lady came up from behind me and said:
There is something very powerful about being more in control and the master of when and how I want to express gender; aside from work of course which is not a situation I am going to change at this stage unless I transitioned and changed companies.
This is the most comfortable I have ever felt with my gender dysphoria management which is a far cry from where I was even 10 years ago. Have I progressed towards transition? You could say that but then transition is entirely what I want it to mean and I have chosen that to signify moving from one state of unrest to one of more calm and balance.
I don’t feel angst, am not conflicted and am letting life take me organically where it must without feeling like I am swimming upstream against the current. My children's increasing autonomy is giving me the freedom to redefine my life completely and being away from home has been beneficial in helping me push a reset button.
The new reality is a reshaping of what used to be a very defined role …
I think she exudes energy from both genders as it captures a moment in time mid-transition. For some people this could be an unsettling image and yet I find there is something captivating and almost noble about it.
Regardless of what you think of her she has a right to treat her dysphoria which no doubt has been gnawing at her for a very long time. She is just one more transgender person in this world trying to fit in and find a comfort zone so she can live in peace.
She will look different again in a year or two but this moment in time is worthy of capture on film because it speaks directly to the discomfort that many people who shun us have regarding ambiguity of gender and how it manifests itself.
To them I would just say take a long hard look. She doesn't bite.
The Trump presidency continues to disintegrate and with his latest mishandling of the Charlottesville affair by actually defending the Neo-Nazi thugs who voted for him he has reached a new low. He has repeatedly proven himself to be a morally bankrupt idiot and it appears the late night comics like Seth Meyers are now doing less comedy than political commentary.
Thank God for them too because if nothing else they are standing up for what is right.
Trump can't help but add fuel to the fire because he is wired like a thin-skinned bully who just won't let things go which only makes the comedy that much more poignant. His vacillating back and forth on the statements he made is to try and have it both ways of course: keep the part of his base which is blatantly racist happy while appearing to admonish the alt-right fringe movement but not too harshly. So far the statements from the far right seem to be proving this assumption to be correct and no doubt Steve Bannon must be pleased.
Increasing transgender and transsexual visibility and acceptance in society has begun to embolden different people on the spectrum to come out from hiding confirming what we already suspected: that gender identities are not built exactly on a rigid binary and, when left to their own devices, people will choose to express these variances.
It was about time too and that stifling set of rules kept people in their little closeted world for fear of rejection and violence.
If you read Zagria’s blog you will have noted that historically many transgender people would live as the opposite gender with no access to surgical or hormonal assistance. Some even married and it is hard to believe that their spouses would not have known about their situation. Perhaps their marriage was chaste or the spouse was told a story about some sort of genital birth defect.
One of Zagria’s recent entries is about James Allen (1787 – 1829) who was discovered posthumously to be female bodied after dying in a work-r…
“Oh my God I love your bracelet!” said the Starbucks barista. She is a young woman in her twenties.
The other one comes over and says much the same and suddenly the three of us are talking and it just flows. The latter proceeds to tell me things I know I would have never heard as a male.
For the record the bracelet was an $11 find at the Toronto Eaton Center and had called out to me with the price making it an easy sell. Like some costume jewelry, it looks like it’s worth much more which is a bonus. Later that day I got another comment from another vendor who pointed it out how much she liked it.
Being on my own here and spending more time as Joanna has made things less lonely if nothing else because of the openness that women have and my own impetus to oblige them in conversation or start one myself is part of that. It is very comfortable and the reflexes are there and don’t require any special prompting in order to surface.
As a side note, that same day I decided to wear my feather …
Christopher Nolan has created a cinematic feast for the senses.
His film Dunkirk flows along with long periods between speaking parts and with the continuous hum of a Hans Zimmer score that marks the tension perfectly. This is a great film which will be nominated for best picture and possibly win it all. When the ending credits began to roll I knew it then.
This movie breaks with war movie convention and delivers most of its impact through its expansive cinematography, soundtrack and actor's faces which mark the desperation of the situation with just the right level of angst along with their minimal but strategically placed dialogue. It draws you in and does not let up allowing you to be more involved than you had expected. I was riveted the whole time and that's what great film making is all about.
There is no one hero in this movie although one does stand out a little more. They are just people put under very difficult circumstances doing their best to survive.
I recently watched a debate between The Young Turks’ Cenk Uygur and Ben Shapiro. It was supposed to be a friendly one between the American left and right.
At one point Shapiro said something revealing and tipped his hand. While discussing health care he said he didn’t want to be restrained by a system that kept him from doing what he wanted and getting the service he and his family deserved. He said he didn’t care about anyone else’s situation. Cenk responded that he could always supplement single payer with his own elective services if he could afford it but at least people wouldn’t get kicked off the insurance grid and potentially die.
But that wasn't what struck me.
American individualism worked well under a system when taxes were much higher like the 1950’s and 1960’s when there was a prosperous middle class with strong family units and community ties. As the social fabric has begun to dissolve that individualism has led to selfishness and disdain for those who aren’t part of …
I share my victories here with you to help give you confidence to be yourselves and face the world without fear. But then I am also not fooling myself; I am 6’1” and weigh 200 lbs and have a body more like a man than that of a woman.
I have learned that most people assume I am a woman and treat me like one but some people likely suspect otherwise and I am okay with that because I have taught myself to be a secure over this issue. If you are transgender and out you have little choice and, regardless, genetic women my size receive that much more scrutiny to begin with so you must be prepared for it.
I am treated just like a woman but that doesn’t mean people don’t suspect I might be transsexual or transgender and even if I took hormones my shoulders are broad and my biceps a little too big for a genetic woman; the byproduct of trying to counteract being skinny during a period when I was deep in denial.
Last Sunday I was on another train trip sitting in front of a woman who had wanted m…
Tomi Lahren is all of twenty-four years old and already abrasive and cocky. She looks like a Barbie with her long, platinum hair and could be described as a younger version of the other beloved right wing pundit Anne Coulter.
Both women use the no holds barred and pull no punches approach which typically appeals to the Fox News right-wing base whose “America First" myopia has them respond favorably to violent rhetoric.
“Let’s show them whose boss. Let’s carpet bomb the Middle East!”
Lahren will say these types of things without a hint of restraint and with even less decorum but she doesn’t care because her following tells her she’s on to something. It is the same crowd that is apparently fed up of diplomacy and political correctness and helped put an inept Donald Trump in the White House.
Politico ran a story on Lahren and the comments section showed the kind of vitriol that has now taken over America. There is outright hatred between the blue and the red factions that has no prec…
John Harvey Kellogg was one of two brothers who founded the cereal brand that many Americans know and grew up on.
He was a keen believer in clean living and, as a Seventh Day Adventist, he advocated no consumption of alcohol, meat and frowned upon all activities that would motivate a person to be tempted towards sin which included sexual practices. As the name implies, Seventh Day Adventists believed in the imminence of the second coming and would even not bother educating some of their children since there would be little point.
So even as an intelligent scientist who advanced our modern day understanding of probiotics and how they affected our digestive tract, he fell under the spell of Eugenics which was basically the belief in encouraging the selection of certain human traits implying that the white race was privy to most of them; something even president Teddy Roosevelt believed in. These types of ideas would be further advanced and developed by the madmen Adolf Hitler and Jose…
Al Gore comes off like a decent and well-spoken man.
There he was on NPR being interviewed for his new documentary “An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power” where he once again tries to instill a sense of urgency for the dangers of climate change in anyone who will listen.
During the interview, he was measured and articulate. A far cry from the current charlatan in the White House who Gore tried, to no avail, to dissuade from pulling out of the Paris Accord.
During the 2000 election people decided that they would vote for someone they would rather have a beer with than a passionate intellectual like Gore who was accused of being haughty and stuffy but he would have made an excellent president and, were he to have been elected, there likely would have been no Iraq war.
Another thing that caught my interest during the interview was his staunch belief in the separation of church and state. Here is a man who went to divinity school and has his own religious convictions and yet is not compe…
This past Friday night was only the second time in my entire life that I have gone to a movie as Joanna.
There was nothing particularly eventful about the experience only that before the show started the woman next to me leaned over and said:
“Normally these theatres are so cold but not today for some reason dont'cha think?”
I replied that I agreed.
She dealt with me like one woman to another and I know for a fact that wouldn’t have happened if I weren’t presenting as one. It wasn’t just what she said but the way she said it and I have learnt to recognize and appreciate that approach very much.
Then it was meeting Jacqueline and her husband yesterday on the train from Oakville to Union Station. She asks me why I am going downtown and we begin a conversation. He is half interested and does not look up from his phone except for the odd time perhaps recognizing the flow of the discourse has taken on a decidedly female tone. By the end of the train ride she has given me her card and w…
No I am not against religion per se but the kind of religion that I grew up with seems to have transformed itself into one based on intransigence and intolerance.
The foundation of all religion is spirituality and the idea that we transcend the earthly and the physical world; that there is more to this life than what we can touch and feel and that humankind has not been graced with the full capacity of being able to comprehend the divine.
The small-mindedness of so-called “religious people” is what I find most disturbing and I see how they view their limited black and white world that won’t be soiled with any type of ambiguity; that is until they themselves touched by it somehow.
I now look at the unquestioning disciple with a healthy dose of skepticism because I cannot comprehend how one can live without some degree of doubt. The things we have been asked to accept verbatim almost demand that we correct our thinking as we move along in t…
I certainly don’t mean to sound callous or insensitive when I say things and yesterday’s post could have been taken that way. My message was about waking up transgender people to the idea that they are not pariahs and they shouldn’t have to beg someone to tolerate their “illness”
I have reached a stage in my life where my self-esteem is far more important than bending myself over in order to be accompanied in life. Believe me, I tried that way for years and it didn’t work.
Those of you who are currently in relationships where your transgender nature is completely suppressed I feel for you. But getting a taste of the freedom I am enjoying now there is no going back and my only plea to partners in a relationship would be to try and understand the other person before calling it quits.
Make no mistake, I don’t have much sympathy for the person who suddenly announces out of the blue that they are transitioning and expect the spouse to get with the program. If she ends up divorcing you it i…
I still see older transgender people and their spouses use the term “crossdressing” to describe what is essentially someone being themselves. No spouse should ever be lied to but then no one has the right to hold someone prisoner for something as utterly benign as dressing in the clothes normally associated with the opposite sex. No, its not like killing puppies.
Some women are disgusted by it and that is their right while others might be even amused by it; it runs the gamut it seems. But the double standard that says a woman can express herself with more latitude while a male is supposed to stay inside a limited track is disturbing to me and, should I ever enter any kind of relationship again, my identity will not be up for negotiation.
The truth is that we live in a world where we are supposed to be straight jacketed into submission and, whatever the cause of gender dysphoria, we should never allow someone else to call our right of self-expression a compulsion or a filthy habit simp…
Third Way Trans' most recent post (which my friend Calie featured on T-Central) has a powerful message to pass on and that is that a full transition isn’t for every trans person. He is not against transition by any means only that you should be 100% certain that this is the right thing because there is no going back.
I am reminded here that we are much more than just our earthly physical bodies and yet we live in a world constrained by them which renders these types of decisions important.
A while back and after some deliberation I decided I wasn’t going to tamper with my body in any way with the only thing outstanding being the consideration of a full social transition which is also presently on tenuous ground. During my reflection process I realized that I didn’t need to do anything further to be myself and I could adopt the best aspects of each gender and mold them to suit the psychology that I formed as a young child.
Changing my body would be in some ways like trying to subsc…