I dress when I want to and sometimes I cut outings shorter than before. I am my own master in this regard and feel in control.
Don't get me wrong in that the dysphoria is not going away and is sometimes like a wild stallion that threatens to jump the fence but I have learnt to understand it’s demands after all these years hence a transition for me is definitely not in the cards. At this point I am not even foreseeing a social one.
The two sides are no longer in conflict and they are now intertwined to create a fusion that is unique to me. That answer finally came when I reached a full level of self assurance about who I am and learned to embrace that I am trans and yes, that includes my dysphoria's erotic undertones which I have learnt to comprehend as forming part of the full picture.
While this may not be your solution, if you examine yourself honestly and free of artificial obstacles, you will have it in due course.