Thursday, 26 January 2017

authenticity

Authenticity begins internally.

You need to accept who you are and proceed from there but that means letting go of much from the lessons you were taught about who you were supposed to be.

Most transgender people at one point or another have suffered from self-esteem issues and that’s not hard to explain. Try to fit a square peg in a round hole and see what happens and yet that is what we were expected to do all of our lives. The secret lies in self-definition. I know that sounds deceptively simple but it is the only way out of our dilemma.

This was a very hard lesson for me to learn because I wanted to believe that everything I had been taught and saw all around me in society was the way things were supposed to be for me as well.

It would be easy to blame my parents or society but really the only person who could do this was me. You are the master of how you feel about yourself and no one else. Besides, I kept it all to myself and never asked for help assuming that I was some sort of defective and weak person who couldn’t self-repair.

One of my tipping points came when I realized I had so much discipline in every other area of my life so why couldn’t I solve this riddle? But there was no riddle. The solution was to simply accept myself exactly as I am.

4 comments:

  1. I know folks who disparage our world where the young spend so much time using the internet and social media. Personally, I know that in this world, I would have not only understood myself sooner (and rejected those expectations of family and society), but would have realized that I could take charge and do things to allow my true self out into the world.

    The path to wholeness for me began with a large measure of self-acceptance, but depended upon initiative and good luck finding help from the medical profession and a good therapist.

    Self acceptance was definitely the key, allowing me to end the isolation.

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    Replies
    1. self-acceptance is key and then the support structure to go along. You are so right Halle...

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  2. Authenticity is everything. The entity that answers to the name of "I" is something only I can know, but I CAN know it - in that ineffable subjective way I know I enjoy the taste of chocolate and that I am right-handed. It resonates like a string in tune.

    No human being's commitment to truth and reality is complete, or even tenable, without a commitment to that authentic resonance. To my mind, gender is itself ultimately about that resonance. Not what one does or says or likes, but how one resonates when so doing, saying or liking. It is a wavelength, a frequency, and whether one rides the wavelength expected by society of one's birth sex matters not to me.

    I do not need others to be like me. I already have a me I like: Me. I am
    committed to my authenticity, and owe my fellow human beings the freedom to resonate theirs.

    Authenticity is everything.

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