Skip to main content


The one common thread running through the blogs and websites of transgender people whose accounts I have read is that their lives have all been challenging. This has been the case almost without exception.

What has tended to vary has been the level of acceptance of partners, friends and family members which has tended to make a huge difference in the quality of their lives.

But I don’t pretend to state that transgender lives are worse than other people's other than to note the often insidious impact of silence on a life not genuinely lived due to fear of rejection. Other realities cannot be concealed as well which tends to invite earlier intervention.

This is why I am so glad that we have at least created an environment where today's trans youth can come out and seek help.

In my son’s school there are currently two transitioning students (one MTF and one FTM) and judging from my questioning of the general reaction of their classmates, both seem to be finding acceptance. No doubt there are still detractors but I know how much worse it would have been for them during my time.

Thank goodness for progress today and that we no longer need to live in insidious silence.


  1. Agreed. Those of us who are older all naturally wonder how different our lives would have been if we were young today in an environment of greater acceptance. Oh, well...

    1. Most definitely! Oh to be young again . . . .
      Very encouraging to hear about your son's school.

    2. for my son its almost matter of fact and he doesn't give it a second thought. I have brought up both my children to respect difference.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…