Skip to main content

Sherry

My friend Sherry and I finally found each other and chatted online the other day.

When I was in the most tormented throes and my marriage was about to disintegrate I was able to converse with her and have someone just listen to my anguish.

Sherry tells me she has a good life and it is linked to her decision to transition in her 20’s. She is a lovely and supportive person and although we have never met face to face (and perhaps never will) she is someone that I will stay in contact with because she is brimming with unbridled support for me.

We all need to have cheerleaders in this life even if they are on the other side of a chat line and they don’t necessarily share the exact same transgender experience.

Finding her 8 or 9 years ago online was happenstance but her ebullience was evident from the start. She never doubted for a moment what she needed to do to be herself because, as she told me back then, she didn’t make a very good boy.

She does however make for a very fine lady.

Comments

  1. I agree that we all need cheerleaders and supporters and I'm delighted to hear that you and Sherry reconnected. I've been so fortunate to find you and others with whom I'm able to communicate with. Whether we ever meet in person or not, we have in spirit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad we found each other too Emma.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

a blending

An interesting thing is happening to me: as I have fully embraced being transgender my male and female anima are becoming blended. The female side is no longer an unwelcome appendage which, as a result, has allowed me to craft a more genuine and happier male image.

I dress when I want to and sometimes I cut outings shorter than before. I am my own master in this regard and feel in control.

Don't get me wrong in that the dysphoria is not going away and is sometimes like a wild stallion that threatens to jump the fence but I have learnt to understand it’s demands after all these years hence a transition for me is definitely not in the cards. At this point I am not even foreseeing a social one.

The two sides are no longer in conflict and they are now intertwined to create a fusion that is unique to me. That answer finally came when I reached a full level of self assurance about who I am and learned to embrace that I am trans and yes, that includes my dysphoria's erotic undertones…