Skip to main content

the concept of a gender core

If Felix Conrad is correct and there is such a thing as a core gender it would help to explain a lot. This core would be independent of chromosomes, hormones and genitalia at birth. It would help explain why very young children gravitate towards gender behaviour before being influenced by external forces.

What typically then happens is that they are dissuaded from behaving in opposite ways to expectation by well-meaning parents.

This governing core would be instinctive, need not be 100% male or female but then could be retrained via social conditioning. By means of embarrassment and ridicule you could get the child to suppress and move away from their core gender. This would also mean that Harry Benjamin could have been correct in assuming predetermination at birth.

What then would happen is that by puberty sexual orientation would begin to also play a role with gynephilics suppressing due to the inconsistency between identity and sexual attraction and androphilics aligning; thus helping to explain early onset versus late onset.

I believe strongly in such an idea and I was one of those children who gravitated naturally towards girl things and play until told to stop. The internalized shame was so strong it damaged my psyche for many years to come.

It would be hard to prove the existence of a gender core since its creation could involve a series of events tied to biological predisposition and even fortified via family situation, birth order and dynamics.

I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for solid proof but the concept certainly makes sense.

Comments

  1. I definitely agree with the "core gender" concept, perhaps also talked about as "true gender." I also gravitated to wanting to do girl things when quite young (preschool), played with them in kindergarten, but learned that it was something to be ashamed of so I internalized it into my fantasies, particularly at bed time.

    I was always interested in females sexually and never males, although I experimented with it once. So I guess I would have been a lesbian had I been born female. I was definitely aroused by fantasies of being feminized, wearing clothes, and all - which added to my shame as I felt I was consumed by a perverted fetish. Now I think the erotic feelings arose from the feelings of joy and freedom to be what I am, which is something I was denied in real life.

    Last, I was asked if I feel now that I am a woman "inside." I don't really know of course, but lately I do feel I am female inside. I guess at my age that's the same thing but nonetheless describing it as female seems more accurate. One indicator to me is that as I've been coming out recently to male friends I've been disappointed that they haven't had more interest in talking about my feelings, diving deeper into what it is to be transgender. This seems like it would be such an interesting topic, but not for them. I've wondered if a reason I like talking about my feelings is that I am in fact female inside and, for them as men, it's just not important or perhaps they don't feel comfortable talking about feelings.

    ReplyDelete
  2. you experienced much the same things as everyone else did Emma and mistook your feelings for strictly fetish because that aspect was included in the mix by puberty. it took me a while to sort all this out so you are not alone.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

a blending

An interesting thing is happening to me: as I have fully embraced being transgender my male and female anima are becoming blended. The female side is no longer an unwelcome appendage which, as a result, has allowed me to craft a more genuine and happier male image.

I dress when I want to and sometimes I cut outings shorter than before. I am my own master in this regard and feel in control.

Don't get me wrong in that the dysphoria is not going away and is sometimes like a wild stallion that threatens to jump the fence but I have learnt to understand it’s demands after all these years hence a transition for me is definitely not in the cards. At this point I am not even foreseeing a social one.

The two sides are no longer in conflict and they are now intertwined to create a fusion that is unique to me. That answer finally came when I reached a full level of self assurance about who I am and learned to embrace that I am trans and yes, that includes my dysphoria's erotic undertones…