Friday, 20 January 2017

the recognition factor

I used to be very concerned about being recognized but now I am not in the least. Over the years I have had a long string of occurrences where I was all but certain that I should have been and wasn’t; as a result my confidence in this area is solid.

I will back this up with a recent anecdote.

My friend Lyne had never seen me I male mode and she requested recently that the next time we meet that I present that way. Interestingly enough she told me that she would not have made the connection. This is not only because I look different but because my gesturing and the way I carry my body is entirely different. In other words, I have given myself carte blanche to conduct myself in the appropriate manner in each presentation.

She told me she saw the male that she had never seen before thus confirming what I myself already knew.

The moral of the story for those of you who might be concerned about being recognized is that you immerse yourself with abandon and not feel self-conscious when presenting female. This will all but guarantee that a connection will not be made. Besides, if you look suspicious you will only invite people to wonder why you are so uncomfortable as most can smell when there is something amiss.

The more comfortable I have become in this knowledge the better the management of my dysphoria has become. But it must also be said that I am way past worrying about being recognized which has improved things even more.

The other day over lunch I walked into a place and the young man said "Bonjour Madame...er monsieur". He had apologized profusely because I was not presenting female in the least. I laughed and looked at him and said "you can address me in any way you want".

He just smiled at me and looked relieved.

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NB: A note to my dear long lost friend Sherry. You left me a note using my contact fields but the email you left did not work. Please leave me a valid email as it would be a pleasure to be in contact again. You helped me so much before and during my marriage breakup.


2 comments:

  1. I used to be concerned about being recognized in public. Kind of a different story, however. This is a case with me presenting male while with several who are presenting female. Being in the media, this bothered me and still does somewhat. Guilty by association, you know? Less chance of being recognized presenting female, I suppose, but the thought of being recognized scares me to death.

    I have been recognized when with my trans friends but, with one exception, it has always been strangers who know my face because of what I do.

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    1. that is an interesting reversal Calie. I suppose there are always ways to explain things away but as we age maybe we care less and less?

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