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entitled to the same rights

We have a hypervigilance to gender and even we trans people notice when someone else breaks the rules or doesn’t pass well enough so that they stick out. It’s one of the fundamentals that we first learn: this is a boy and this is a girl and this is what each one is permitted to do.

As someone who long struggled with self-acceptance I had to try and remove that sensitivity in order to repair my psyche. When I was working hard at ignoring my dysphoria I would wince a little when someone flirted with the rules and was brave enough to be themselves. Inside I felt an admiration for them that I thought I could never muster.

For many of us our salvation lies outside of the binary system because that itself can become a form of enslavement. “Be a man or be a woman but for God’s sake don’t be a transgender person because that is just confused” and so some of us switch sides when it may not be warranted or beneficial.

Being a gender outlaw is less difficult when you blend in and the less you do the more you become a potential target of slurs and dirty looks.

In my less confident days I would get the glaring long stares which were met with me looking away and pretending I didn’t notice. I just knew not to look back but could feel the piercing eyes trying to make out what they were seeing. This happens far less or not at all which has everything to do with my elevating my body language and demeanor but most importantly my attitude.

In spite of the risk, I personally prefer not living in fear and being out in the world instead of a closet because, as I have now learned, there is much reward to be gained. It is why I am enjoying the fruits of my labour today.

There are plenty of other people out there facing their own challenges that they cannot mask. People who are disfigured, obese or physically disabled do this every day and find ways to lead normal lives.

They haven’t chosen to be that way and neither have we but we can all hold our heads up high knowing we have every right to the very same things as everyone else.

Comments

  1. Would you kindly elucidate the rewards/fruits of being out in the world. Thank you for considering this request.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. breathing the fresh air of being and expressing myself as I want to and not as society would have me do Kati.

      Delete

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