Skip to main content

finding contentment where we are now

We are rarely 100% satisfied of where we are in life.

There is always someone else who seems to have it better than us. They have more money, a nicer and more attractive spouse or a bigger house. It might just be the natural state of human affairs.

As I have aged I realize more and more that whatever state your life is in you will find something that you think you want. When you end up getting it the results can sometimes be less exciting than you expected.

We know money doesn’t do it because once you get past the basics that a person needs to survive all the studies show that the level of happiness does not increase. In fact it could be argued that having a lot of wealth adds complexity to your life in terms of worry about how to grow it or spend it wisely as investing firms, family members and friends vie for your attention.

It might just be that the best approach to this life is to find joy exactly where you are at every junction for there is beauty there. If you are alone you have more freedom and can reflect on your life and improve yourself. When you are accompanied you can draw from your partner’s wisdom and bask in their company and friendship. But many people want to get out of their relationship as fast as others want a new one thus precipitating a process that should be more organic.

I tell myself this more and more and am using this junction in my life to remake myself and build on what I have achieved so far. I have come a long way and learnt much but still have things to correct.

There is little point in trying to be somewhere else because where I am now has a purpose.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…