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well said

My friend Clare Flourish has written a lovely and very lucid post which deserves much attention. I love it because it’s about defining yourself.

You are who you are but you need to figure that out for yourself. She grew up trying to be someone else like I did.

Clare transitioned fully and she is challenging you to ask yourself the right question: who are you?

The answer should be to ignore everyone else and look inside.....

https://clareflourish.wordpress.com/2017/02/12/the-pink-fog/

Comments

  1. It troubles me that these sentiments are not widely considered obvious. Even within the trans community, there is so much pressure to conform to arbitrary norms.

    I transitioned decades ago. I was relatively young. I present as binary female, and am as physically female as is medically possible for someone born reproductively male. No one knows I am Trans unless I reveal it, and when I do, jaws drop. I recognize the advantages and privileges I enjoy because of this, but it drives me bananas when I am held up as an example for others. I'm me. And all I encourage others to be is themselves.

    My best friend discovered she was non-binary on her journey. She described how's gh pressure she felt from others in the trans community to be anything but, and how she was initially afraid even to talk to me for fear of not measuring up. It was heartbreaking to hear that, and she soon realized uoon finally approaching me that no pressure to be anything besides herself would come from me. It has been delightful watching. Her grow and find herself over the years, presenting as somewhere in between man and woman, confidently and without apology.

    Being trans affords an opportunity for self discovery and self creation. Why limit that gift?

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    Replies
    1. I think that is Joanna's point, that we need to define ourselves and like you said, that is perfect in an of itself. I think it's wonderful that you transitioned so long ago and that you're so confident and comfortable in your skin. Bravo! I guess I would transition also (or be inclined to explore it much more) if I were several decades younger. For me, now almost 61, I am more inclined to make the best of myself, knowing that I am definitely transgender, dealing with my dysphoria as best I can, and just living in peace with that.

      But who knows. My wife and I are preparing to divorce soon and maybe with fewer worries and more freedom I may be compelled to explore that much more. We will see, but at least like you and Joanna said, I'll be defining myself as I go.

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    2. I am happy for you whatever and you are like my friend Sherry who no one would ever think in a million years she was born a boy.

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    3. :)

      I may appear more confident in my writing than in person (though I'm told I orject confidence in any setting). It has been a long journey. It did not stop upon surgery, and it has not yet stopped. I will always be a trans woman, and that comes with a host of challenges - telling potential partners, whether and when to tell friends, employers, etc, persevering in the face of ignorance and hatred, dealing with suspicion on the part of fellow trans women who presume I look down on them. Mostly remaining true to myself and reality.

      I've gotten better at this over the years, mostly having recognized the truth of this post's theme. I am me; I like me; and I am the ultimate judge of who I am.

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    4. you know what you are doing. I can tell...good for you.

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