Skip to main content

I finally learn a lesson

I don’t understand people sometimes.

I was working with a singer for the last couple of years and suddenly out the blue he sends me an email warning me to remove all of his vocals from my compositions. He made it sound very legal although I knew he didn’t have the financial backing to follow up. Apparently his impetus was that he had decided on his own to make compact disc copies for sale which were eventually not to his liking and when I declined to buy them from him he decided to quit unless I paid him $1,000 dollars.

We had stated from the outset that this was not a commercial project (although nothing was signed legally) and any proceeds would be divided 50/50 even though I was doing most of the work in composing, arranging and recording my own songs. Hence I decided to grant his request and proceeded to remove his vocals rather than succumb to extortion.

Not more than 3 days later he had a change of heart and decided he wanted back in except that I know better and the type of person who does this sort of thing will do it again. I did not respond to his email.

This is the third time this has happened to me with a singer. The first time it was someone from my church who suddenly heard the quality of the work I was doing and wanted payment. The second time was an ex-professional musician who wanted to take my recordings away and have them remastered because he couldn’t have his voice handled by just anyone.

Some people in this world aren’t principled and I have made the mistake of assuming that they are honorable and stand by their word. I was wrong.

I would like to think that I have never deliberately turned the tables on anyone in my life although I am not perfect and the unfortunate lesson I have had to draw from this is that I need to have a higher level of mistrust of people’s intentions and their loyalty.

Comments

  1. In business, people have the opportunity to reveal their true nature with the excuse that "it's just business." No, integrity either exists in you or it does not. As you learned, the best thing to do is simply avoid people like this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you are so right in this Ally. I am a hard nut to crack...

      Delete
  2. I'd suggest that it's impossible to avoid people "like this." How can you possibly know? You've tried several times. Instead, you do need to have a signed agreement, always. The main reason we need these in relationships (business and otherwise) is that memories are short and we need to document the agreed rules of engagement as well as what to do when disputes and break ups occur.

    It's too bad, especially for what would otherwise just be a fun and gratifying activity, but with performers we also add ego, a powerful emotion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes and I know you are going through what must be a trying time for you Emma. I hope things are going to be amicable when it comes to financial divisions...

      Delete
    2. Thank you for your kind thoughts Joanna. At the moment we're doing pretty well, actually. I'm sure there will be more ups and downs but that's life. I'm looking forward to further breaking out of my mold. Liftoff is currently scheduled for April 15th. "T minus 5 weeks and counting!"

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…