Skip to main content

sorry but no one is going back into the closet

Transgender rights are human rights.

As more transgender people come out of the woodwork, society tries to figure out what to make of them. Some people are having little trouble accepting however among social and religious conservatives there are those going into tizzies as their circuits threaten to overload.

The key question revolves around empathy and respect for a person’s right to self-determination versus what conservatives love to describe as respect for the reality that God has created. In other words, for them being transgender is an abomination and a choice which is why so many go back to the biology of birth sex to base their argumentation. The problem is that being transgender isn’t a choice and if people are created this way then the entire basis for their prejudice falls apart.

It was all much easier when transgender people either transitioned in stealth or were hidden away at home in their closets. But just as the public face of homosexuality forced a dialogue in society, the same impact is being felt over the rights of the transgender. Except now it is even more difficult since gender identity is far more visible than sexual orientation.

The bathroom and locker room moral panics are being used by conservatives to try and paint us as deviants but this is just a ruse as the statistics show that there is a far greater risk of conventional males entering these spaces and attacking women. If anything transgender people desperately just want to blend in and be accepted for who they are.

But for religious conservatives, already grappling with the idea that homosexuality may not be a choice, we have added a brand new dilemma which makes their platform one potentially based on incorrect assumptions. For them, both homosexuality and gender variance of any kind were traditionally seen as issues steeped in moral depravity. If you succumbed to these things you were a deviant and a sinner but the reality is that no one chooses to be trans and many of us spent years trying to drown our natures in the bathtub.

Just think back to past generations when many gays would marry in attempt to deny their orientation and how many transgender people have done much the same in denying their sense of identity.

It is going to take some time for conservatives to swallow the cough syrup and get with the program. But be that as it may, we are not going back into the closet just for their own comfort.


  1. Joanna, that is so well put "conservatives to swallow the cough syrup and get with the program." GREAT!

  2. I don't think the older religious conservatives will ever accept anything trans. It's their children that will. The same thing is happening with homosexuality, it's just that that movement is 30 years ahead of ours.

    I see it in my children and their friends who are much more accepting than my generation. They actually know trans kids from school and don't have any issues with it.

    1. you are absolutely right Lindsay they have no issues...


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…