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the road

Those of us who have lived longer than we have left to go often take stock of things. We see the segments and sequences that led us where we are today. So when I look back, I realize little about my life has been routine or expected.

I can see portions where I thought things were going to stabilize only to see the apple cart be overturned once again and segments where the wonderfully unexpected happened. I know I am not the only one who can say this because there are surprises in store for all of us.

I have lived most of my life inside my own head and have reflected on everything the way a cow chews its cud which has been both good and bad. Yesterday was one such day where my history came back to me with particular clarity.

I don’t plan anymore and just take things as they come because all of my assumptions have been dead wrong. The only constants have been my ability to analyse and adjust using the values instilled in me by my parents as a guiding compass.

Life is challenging for everyone and yet there is a grace that comes with being able to adjust to its fluidity and unpredictable nature. The more you fight against it the more one suffers. I am now doing things with this axiom in mind and trusting that the road will take me where I need to be.



Comments

  1. 'The road' is an apt metaphor for me, too. My wife and I are in divorce mediation now. Why? Because I am transgender and despite the fact that for all intents and purposes I'm the same person she married 20+ years ago she cannot stand this. Fine.

    Following paperwork filing which I expect by early April I am hitting the road in an RV coach. I don't know where or for how long. My quest is to just be myself, find a new place to settle down.

    I completely agree with the notion of looking forward, not back, but more particularly to live in the moment. I'm almost 61, healthy, and each moment is precious.

    Emma

    P.S. My first thought when I saw the title of your post was the book by Cormac McCarthy! It's a terrific read but also such a tragic and brutal look at the future.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I actually thought about you hitting the road as I wrote this entry Emma. Go and find yourself on it and come back renewed..

    ReplyDelete

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