Skip to main content

the hot pink bra

“Every woman needs a pink bra” the young sales girl tells me.

She has been extremely friendly and helpful and is almost as tall as me. She is very open and suddenly we are talking away.

Perhaps against my better judgement I bought a hot pink bra because it was on sale and after getting home I realized it wasn’t the best choice given its likelihood to show its color underneath certain clothing. But I wasn’t thinking about this at the time because of the great price and due to the fact they had my size.

But the best part of it all was the interaction with this young woman and my ability to be so completely at ease with who I am. It made buying this item of clothing worth the money even if I need to be careful what I wear over it.

I very much enjoy interacting with people and, reaching this echelon while presenting as Joanna, has been a slow process but definitely worth the effort. No matter what my gender presentation, I am equally comfortable after many years of terrifying dread about presenting female.

Those I interact with are most often wonderful I think largely because they see a happy and secure person. The odd time I get an odd stare I simply return the favor until they look away. They might only want to get a glance at the tall woman or maybe they aren’t sure about my gender. All of that is fine provided they are respectful.

If you haven’t made it past the fear and trepidation stage you owe yourself the delight in attaining this plateau which amounts to not caring one whit about what anyone thinks. My neighbors can get a good eyeful for all I care.

Although hopefully they won't see the hot pink bleeding out from underneath.


Comments

  1. Good for you! Enjoy your stage of self- and social-acceptance. Many of us never reach that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Allie's wholehearted support for you. Some day I may very well join you... while wearing my own pink bra!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pardon my ignorance, but I can't wrap my mind around the notion that every woman needs a pink bra. It seems to have all the hallmarks of an impractical article of clothing unless one wants to make some kind of statement or draw attention to yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think she was making a reference to letting it all hang out and being playful. The price got the better of me but still I will find a way to wear it under something so that the color doesn't show through since it fits well...

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …