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learning to be ourselves

My mother has always been a natural lefty. When she was young the nuns would slap her left hand with a ruler in order to force her to write with her right hand. Every time she was caught disobeying that left hand would get a swift reminder.

Many trans people have had much the same conditioning and whatever natural inclinations we had were shamed out of us until we learned to comply.

I am now deeply embedded in the process and getting to know the person I could and maybe should have been. It is at once a complex and rewarding undertaking except one now devoid of the shame or guilt which muddied any attempts I made towards clear thinking. As a result it can now be afforded the kind of introspection it deserves.

Some posts ago I featured Lizzie Velasquez whose life has been much more challenging than my own and yet she maintains a wonderful and positive outlook that focuses on where her strengths lie instead of feeling sorry for herself. This is what I had to learn as well.

When I began this blog five years ago I was mired in self pity and needed to get past obstacles which I was making much worse through my inability to accept that I was transgender. I had to do the same thing that Lizzie did and look past the detractors and haters and the fear of facing the public by looking them straight in the eye.

I guess you could say it feels a little like being able to write with your good hand.


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