Skip to main content

victims to the caricature

To varying degrees we all suffer from the caricature that society has created for men and women. Men are strong and women are weak. Men are stoic and women are emotive. Men are more single minded and women are good multi taskers. While this may be true for some it doesn't apply to others but once the rules were made we were expected to follow suit.

Breaking these norms takes some courage because you become the object of ridicule, the butt of jokes and even a victim to violence. For the first time in my lifetime and maybe in history we are starting to see a slackening of the noose and witnessing a new respect for the diversity that actually exists out there in the world.

What this means for some men is the chance to define themselves outside of the macho, stoic provider and for women to be the natural leaders that some of them are. It will be about allowing our capabilities and not our gender decide what we can or cannot do.

For those of us who are gender dysphoric it has also opened up options about how to demonstrate and live our innate variance; with or without transition.

Feminists like to say that one learns to be a woman in our culture and that many of those dictates are not innate which I think is the same for men. We are taught to be the cardboard cut out which often implies suppressing instincts and inclinations in order to gain societal approval.

In this brave new world that I barely recognize let us hope we continue to allow and promote that people find their own comfort zone without outside prejudice or malice in order to avoid being caricatures and become their true selves.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …