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too old to suffer fools gladly

Most people are lovely but it is always good to get a little reminder about passing. Not every transgender person passes and even those who have been on hormones for years and have had surgery do not always do so successfully all the time.

The point is that passing is not your goal but just being happy in your skin is.

So when I when to buy a fan for my place I wasn’t expecting to deal with an overly curious and slightly smug person but by now I have enough confidence that I do not suffer fools gladly. That same day I had a lovely older couple ask me how I got my wonderful height and that I was an attractive lady. This salesman at the fan place had another idea.

He thought it was polite to ask things in an offensive way. So he said:

“So is it okay to ask you a question?”

I said sure expecting something reasonable like I usually get.

“Are you a transgender or a transvestite?”

I was a little gob smacked because the question was so direct and so smugly stated. It immediately rubbed me the wrong way and I asked him why he thought this is something he should know so I decided to play the biological woman insulted at being labeled transgender and proceeded to tell him that one does not ask questions in this manner and that he was being rude. I could also have asked him if he had always been as fat as he was all his life which I’m sure he wouldn’t have liked.

I paid for my fan and told the young man who had helped me initially that I would be back for my purchase once I had moved my car closer to the entrance.

Needless to say by the time I was back the older salesman had moved further away from the entrance and was by this time looking at his phone and not looking up but I said loudly to the young man:

“You are like my children’s generation polite and courteous not like the older and ruder one”

The young man said: “You think so?” rather self satisfied.

"Yes absolutely" I responded

I got my message across loud and clear and the young fellow smiled very politely at me as I left the store. The older one did not look up from his phone but I could tell he got the message.

I am too old to put up with idiots.


  1. I get it. He had no right to disturb you and his rudeness was manifest. You were within your rights to respond the way you did. I'm sorry you had to deal with this.

    1. its actually good practice for me so it doesn't bother me all that much. I just find that some people just have a lot of nerve and should be put in their place from time to time..

  2. Hmmm, Mr. Salesman, if you stuck an appendage into a running fan, would you be a eunuch, or still just stupid? Or, to put it as politely as he deserves, my answer would be: I'm sorry, but I can't give an intelligent answer to a stupid question.

    One of my favorite comebacks, after being asked if I "used to be a man" was when I answered with: When I was pretending to be a man, I was twice the man that you are.....and now I am twice the woman you could handle.

    1. those are better comebacks than I had that day but good ones!

    2. I've developed my talent for smart ass comebacks. With thousands of hours on bandstands, quite a number of hecklers are inevitable. Since I've been performing as my authentic self (hence, my name, "Fabulous Connie Dee"), it is the between-set breaks that can be more dangerous, though.

      Another one that I'm proud to have thought up with perfect timing was back when Caitlyn Jenner was all over the news, but hadn't officially come out yet. An older man in the grocery store asked me if I was like "that Bruce Jenner guy." I responded, immediately, with: Well, I really don't like to talk about my gold medal! I don't know if he ever really got it, but a lady standing close by got a good laugh. :-)


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