Skip to main content

the hardest lesson

Be confident and be yourself and if you don't do it now when will you?

As a shy pleaser and adherer to what I was taught, this was one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn in my life. Something which for others was incredibly natural was painstakingly difficult for me.

What you have been told about presenting in public in any form is absolutely correct; namely that your success hinges on what you believe inside and is intrinsically tied to your confidence. If you see yourself as a man in a dress then that is exactly what people will perceive. So fix the insides first by coming to a deep understanding of who you are.

After that get out there and live your life regardless of what your plumbing looks like or what others think of you.


Comments

  1. Bingo! It is a pleasure to read your blog, Joanna, as you settle into yourself.

    "If you see yourself as a man in a dress, then that is exactly what people will perceive."

    And if that's who you are, wear it proudly. Nothing wrong with a man I a dress, after all (not that you were implying otherwise - I am quite certain you were not).

    Even better, once the mental noise begins to quiet, and the internalized understandings of self inappropriately imposed by others no longer dominate, it becomes possible to realize that everyone is in the same boat. Everyone is projecting and communicating their personal understandings of themselves, and it is possible to listen and hear them, to look and to see them. Navigating society becomes that much smoother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No there is nothing wrong with a man in a dress just like there is nothing wrong with a transgender woman. We are all different as long as we are happy with our insides...

      Delete
  2. To be more specific i meant that those trans women not wanting to be perceived as a man could work on their internals. But of course if you are a man in a dress and are happy with that then more power to you..

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

more thoughts on cross gender arousal

I have been reflecting for many years on how cross gender arousal originates.

Firstly, the transgender child has already exhibited (or hidden) some gender variance for several years before they arrive at puberty (I wasn't older than 4 when scolded for wearing my mother's shoes). But when they hit puberty a dilemma occurs: the object of the sexual attraction is also someone whose gender they identify with either fully or partly. This contradiction affects the imprinting of the sexual identity but it is not well described as target location error but rather as a pull in two separate directions which leaves the gynephilic adolescent facing two distinct paths. I was keenly aware of this problem but wanted to be normal so I suppressed the dysphoric feelings as hard as I could. I wasn't attracted to my own image as a woman but rather to the idea of being a desirable woman as well as being with one. That juxtaposition fused to my gender core and I was left with a riddle to solve:…