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the hardest lesson

Be confident and be yourself and if you don't do it now when will you?

As a shy pleaser and adherer to what I was taught, this was one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn in my life. Something which for others was incredibly natural was painstakingly difficult for me.

What you have been told about presenting in public in any form is absolutely correct; namely that your success hinges on what you believe inside and is intrinsically tied to your confidence. If you see yourself as a man in a dress then that is exactly what people will perceive. So fix the insides first by coming to a deep understanding of who you are.

After that get out there and live your life regardless of what your plumbing looks like or what others think of you.


  1. Bingo! It is a pleasure to read your blog, Joanna, as you settle into yourself.

    "If you see yourself as a man in a dress, then that is exactly what people will perceive."

    And if that's who you are, wear it proudly. Nothing wrong with a man I a dress, after all (not that you were implying otherwise - I am quite certain you were not).

    Even better, once the mental noise begins to quiet, and the internalized understandings of self inappropriately imposed by others no longer dominate, it becomes possible to realize that everyone is in the same boat. Everyone is projecting and communicating their personal understandings of themselves, and it is possible to listen and hear them, to look and to see them. Navigating society becomes that much smoother.

    1. No there is nothing wrong with a man in a dress just like there is nothing wrong with a transgender woman. We are all different as long as we are happy with our insides...

  2. To be more specific i meant that those trans women not wanting to be perceived as a man could work on their internals. But of course if you are a man in a dress and are happy with that then more power to you..


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