Skip to main content

time gets away

I sat there next to my newly 19 year old daughter and her boyfriend at the Cirque du Soleil "Volta" show for her birthday.

Time gets away from us and like a flowing river that won’t be diverted it takes the path of least resistance without allowing us pause. It is in these special events that we reflect a little more when the daily mundane gives way to ceremonial milestones where we can stop to say “how did this happen. How did time go so fast?”

She refused to just go alone with him as I offered and I think me meeting him was in her plan. Later when he went to the washroom during intermission she asked how I found him and I told her that I liked him which was my honest answer. He is a shy, bespectacled intellectual who reads philosophy and is studying bioethics and we had conversations over dinner later that belied his tender age reminding me that wisdom is not always the exclusive property of those who are older.

All I ever asked of my daughter is that she use her mind and reflect on her life decisions and simply ignore the fickle eye of peer pressure and in choosing this young man she seems to have done just that.

She doesn’t appear to hold any illusions as to their future because she is still young and with her parents divorced she must know that life does not offer us guarantees but instead surprises us with tangential curve balls that can deceive as much as offer pleasant and welcome new possibilities.

All I know is that at least for that evening all three of us had a very lovely time.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…