Skip to main content

who are you?

Who we are can be a difficult thing to answer for many of us because we are scared or because we want to please others and be “normal”. But normal is not something many of us ever were.

I am transgender and I am much more comfortable with that knowledge than I have ever been in my life. It is something I had been running from for a very long time but now I can really see myself without distorted or preconceived ideas.

Self-understanding is also hopefully accompanied by the freedom to define oneself outside of the confines of the rules we were brought up with; most especially those which made our lives unnecessarily more complex than they needed to be. These were often about pleasing family, friends and society in general before ourselves.

Over its span my blog has devoted a lot of space to dealing with escaping restrictions and finding one’s own way because I think that is what is required here. Even the transgender community has developed its own do’s and don’ts which may not suit us.

This enhanced perspective has allowed me to hold my head up high when out in public devoid of an attitude of deliberate defiance or of anger at society. Instead I have become more focused on a quiet confidence that I can create my own unique recipe targeted at pleasing myself above all else.



Comments

  1. This is a struggle many people share, especially those who are different in some way. The force of Procrustean conformity in society is much stronger than commonly acknowledged.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love how you frame your experience in the last paragraph, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I relate to all of this, Joanna. Looking back it's too bad it's taken so long to come to where I am with myself. Looking forward is exhilarating! Today's a beautiful day.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…