I have reached a stage in my life where my self-esteem is far more important than bending myself over in order to be accompanied in life. Believe me, I tried that way for years and it didn’t work.
Those of you who are currently in relationships where your transgender nature is completely suppressed I feel for you. But getting a taste of the freedom I am enjoying now there is no going back and my only plea to partners in a relationship would be to try and understand the other person before calling it quits.
Make no mistake, I don’t have much sympathy for the person who suddenly announces out of the blue that they are transitioning and expect the spouse to get with the program. If she ends up divorcing you it is her right because she was sold a fake bill of goods. Divorce, on the other hand, based exclusively on cross gender behavior is another matter altogether.
Many of us thought we could never expect to get an understanding spouse and many of us didn’t but I am not certain that suppressing who you are just to be with someone is much of a life in my opinion.
As far as the term “crossdresser” goes, it has been used by many to downplay how gender dysphoric people deal with their reality and unfortunately it has taken on the connotation of “heterosexual male with a kink” as my friend Jack Molay commented recently. While if you look up the WPATH standards of care, you will note that it includes cross gender expression among its recommendations for dealing with gender dysphoria without transitioning.